Time after time I went back to my unhealthy addiction not understanding how emotionally vulnerable I was, I was in effect going to work and for nothing, being paid and wasting it away.

Hi

I like many people had thought that gambling was the most exciting thing in my life.

That buzz was it living my life in fear and on adrenaline.

By going to meetings I would I abstain and only then understand how unhealthy I was.

Every time I went back to my unhealthy addiction it was a form of self abuse.

The gambling establishments were not hurting me I was hurting myself.

The gambling establishments never lied to me I lied to myself.

By understanding now how emotionally vulnerable I use to be.

I was in effect going to work and for nothing, being paid and wasting it away.

I also use to smoke and then by taking full inventory of my smoking cost me 10 per day.

Just smoking in one year cost me over 3,650.00.

After smoking twenty years cost me over 73,000.00.

Not only the financial cost but how much damage to my health and my body.

There people in recovery that had glass jars and once a week would put in the money they saved and then one day treat to them selves to some thing nice they wanted.

I was such a lonely person when I was in action.

I did not find that I was able to feel like I was in any form or way successful in my self.

Then I was able to abstain from Gambling.

Then I was able to hand over finances and money to my wife.

Then I was able to trust my self with small amounts of money that was powerful.

I am a non religious person and found that some people were able to achieve so much more with their life simply by not going back to that unhealthy gambling.

The meetings with healthy therapies were the meetings that empowered me in so many ways.

The meetings with healthy therapies would help reduce my fears.

The meetings with healthy therapies would help my trust grow.

The meetings with healthy therapies would help me open to emotional intimacy with myself and with other people.

The meetings with healthy therapies would help me reduce and to face my fears.

The meetings with healthy therapies would help me heal the hurt inner child in me.

Pains in my life caused fears to grow in me.

Fears were going to disable me in so many ways.

Sadly people with gambling addictions are far less likely to succeed in their healing and their recovery.

People with Gambling addiction are often in a state of panic.

People with high levels of panic find it leaves them feeling very vulnerable.

Nearly every thing that was done to me adversely affected the hurt inner child in me.

For me the word Recovery means healing.

If I kept saying to myself I am fine or now so bad it made it seem impossible to heal the hurt inner child in me.

Just for today I will not gamble.

One day at a time.

One step at a time.

Healing Love and Peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham