Hi
Thank you for your question.
Would being bored indicate boredom and not being productive.
For me childhood trauma not being healed or resolved left me feeling emotionally vulnerable.
Pains fo the past caused fears in me that I did not understood or could reduce.
I would say that low self-esteem indciated that I did not value my self ro reward my self for getting thinsg done.
My fears showed up as stress anxiety panic etc?
Gambling was a fom of escape for me.
I use to think that adrenlaine rush was happiness.
The word control is often used for explaining thinsg we do nto understood.
The recovery program is not a control or fight thing today.
The recovery program is about humbling myself to be an equal to all people.
Control issues often indicated that I was trying to regulate other people or things.
One of my emotional triggers was frsutrtions due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.
If you have never ever lied would indicate you have never ever lived in fear.
Now being happy that is a good topic.
Is it being content with who you are where you are and you know what you need to do, what you want to do and what your goals are to become self sufficient balnced and productive in every avenue fo your life.
Being completely honest in your life meas you have no fears.
Do they have to stay on the cross?Â
This wording indicates living in paina dn guilt.
Once we understood we are were soem what unhealthy people we find a much heallthier path in our life today.
The guit shame and regret indicates we do not accept the fact we are vulnerable people that we could nto understand or rsolve issues from the past on our own.
Recovery works because we get to understand our sel more and more.
We start to understand more about what is healthy or unhealthy.
We then exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.
By saying it is an illness we can find a resolve and healing from living in such apinful existance any more.
But again the recovery program is about healing and progress.
The simple truth is we make the choice our self to not gamble today.
No one could stop me gambling.
No one could stop me risk taking.Â
No one could stop me lying.
A healthy life is my choice today.
No more self destruction.
The gambling establisments never hurt me, I hurt my self.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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