A question - non-pedantic

You talkin about me again Phil ? LoL :)).

I think you'd have to ask yourself " Why am I bored " ? and that in itself maybe makes you think there's nothing interesting going on in my life , so your life's not fulfilling enough ? .

I know what your getting at and I know many moons ago late 70s early 80s when I really started gambling it did start as a relief for boredom , I've been self employed for all those years and because of the strange hours I worked I often found myself with an hour or 2 free during an afternoon , which gambling seemed to fill just right . It required no effort to acomplish , just money and any bookie in the area (perfect ) but that odd hour became every day and for many more hours , which in hindsight now tells me it became more pleasurable than going home to spend time with my loved ones , you then question what's wrong with my homelife that I'll put this gambling before them and so the cycle goes on ? .

It's like the saying " Which came first the Chicken or the Egg " ? .

Good question Phil :))

Shoot, I keep finding myself sitting on the fence and agreeing/ disagreeing, possibly my yellow streak painted down my back is getting more mellow..... My humble it's yet another 'trap' of addiction recovery.........

Trap the optimum word......

Trap?

Anyone on here that can honestly say they were 'just bored'?

Maybe people do catch it early before they lie, cheat, steal etc but surely boredom means something is missing & once it's out of control then the line is surely crossed?

It's an odd question Phil because how would that person (I want to call them a Unicorn) you speak of find their way here?

Trap...... just do what feels good for you, don't get trapped by re(dis)covery terminology. If you don't feel there's no underlying issue and you just liked a punt, well ha ho! It's all good and stick with abstaining! Cliches and ommmmms in the chant of recovery can be ' Traps '.......

Disclaimer - im a c&g bricklayer and hnc manager, so I possibly don't articulate myself well.......No need to validate myself there but I'm killing two birds with one stone and explaining my views on validation..... i.e., you raised a good question, no need to add ' non pedantic ' at the end....

People have said that - and am I'm not saying anything about their honesty but OK maybe not looking at the bigger picture? Someone in the chatroom has actually just mentioned boredom ironically.

ODAAT wrote:

Anyone on here that can honestly say they were 'just bored'?

Maybe people do catch it early before they lie, cheat, steal etc but surely boredom means something is missing & once it's out of control then the line is surely crossed?

It's an odd question Phil because how would that person (I want to call them a Unicorn) you speak of find their way here?

I can honestly say I was ' just bored ', not saying I was right though, but spent a few minutes mulling over it and that's pretty much what I believed....;-)

'Believed' past tense right 😉

That could well be another trap right? I 'honestly' did think it was all about the money for me, spent my 1st few months on here arguing til I was blue in the face, now, not so much. I should have worded that better but I still can't think of any 'laymen' on here trying to help.

Well Out of control would be the key words in the first post.

Im sure there are people who go to the bookies because they dont want to sit in the house all day. However gambling leads to addiction which leads to being out of control. I lied and I obtained money from my parents under false pretences. I cant honestly say that I wouldnt have stolen if an opportunity had arisen to get back some of my losses or gamble again. Possibly the next stage would have been trying to borrow larger amounts that I couldnt have paid back. I thought about it but I would have gambled again with it and been thousands in debt to start with. I like to think Im an honest person but its clear how addicted I was. I was telling more than little white lies and I understand how it spirals downwards.

Is boredom the right word though? Too easy a word to use in relation to gambling. I can quite enjoy my own company and Ive got books to read and computer games to play. The leisure centre is down the road and there is a wealth of countryside round and about to explore. its like when you see the kids on the documentaries saying theres nothing to do. Im sure theres more to do than standing on street corners drinking.

I get restless and lonely sometimes but gambling wasnt the answer to my emptiness inside. Its so complex that I gambled for escape and even to punish my low self esteem. These can be the real reasons in the complex soup of dopamine fixes

I cant stop people gambling and if they dont feel they have a problem thats up to them.

I mention my issues because someone might recognise something that leads them into counselling. I feel it helps them question matters and its also theraputic for me.

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

I am totally committed to recovery and abstinence! I know you were pulling my leg??!! I'm a bit sensitive after my period of moderation which is one of the reasons I use the expression "non-pedantic"!

Thanks for all the responses. I think what I was trying to describe was a scenario where boredom gets a person into gambling (say at work and they start playing online games), the gambling gets out of control and that person (unfortunately not me) stops gambling with a bit of advice from a forum like this but no other bells and whistles?

Once upon a time i was strong believer i used crutches to run from the past. Don't think it was the case.
Was running from present. Even if past shaped me the way i am now, i didn't admit for a long time that i simply didn't know how to live. Wasn't happy with myself.
Boredom element was present in occasions while i was active, cannot deny it...but why bored? Because i didn't find what ticks in 3D.

Came here because it gone out of control. Emotionally, financially, mentally.
4 years on...still gambling "on off"....but with bigger baggage of knowledge of how it may end of i let it lose.

Finding motivation in life helps also...i had, however let the past demons go also...but still don't think they were the core reason for my addictions...it was/is PRESENT. ..so work on now & tommorow and not yesterday 🙂

To remember the desperation, sadness and panic while reaching out and finding this site is really important to remember daily.
I can't win cause i can't stop..i have a problem..developed it during greed or what, that's q for another day but accepting reality is one of the steps forward.

ODAAT wrote:

'Believed' past tense right 😉

That could well be another trap right? I 'honestly' did think it was all about the money for me, spent my 1st few months on here arguing til I was blue in the face, now, not so much. I should have worded that better but I still can't think of any 'laymen' on here trying to help.

Yes, believed past tense and off course my granderous easy money to happiness.....The trap !!

Going off tangent but for me I really believe that gambling saved me from alcolhlism as my primary addiction.. I knew alcohol made me happy and outgoing on a Friday evening but gambling was my route out of everyday boredom and my route to my yacht. The delusion trap ..Hence my stance in a lot of things I say and the reason why I can't and will never hate it.....a futile trap....

Phil72 wrote:

I am totally committed to recovery and abstinence! I know you were pulling my leg??!! I'm a bit sensitive after my period of moderation which is one of the reasons I use the expression "non-pedantic"!

Thanks for all the responses. I think what I was trying to describe was a scenario where boredom gets a person into gambling (say at work and they start playing online games), the gambling gets out of control and that person (unfortunately not me) stops gambling with a bit of advice from a forum like this but no other bells and whistles?

Yes Sorry Phil72.... That was a too near the bone and uncalled for. I will remove that sentence. I didnt really think that and I was naughty there. I saw your use of non pedantic but I think it was all too much for me to handle. I think the never did no harm angle was too much for me. When it becomes a problem they are a problem gambler and I find it hard to divorce that from secrets, lies and even stealing. Maybe there are underlying issues and maybe there are not. I feel that underlying issues do make certain people more prone to gambling problems. I also know from personal experience that stress and depression are triggers for "escape" gambling.

Im not trying to sound sanctimonious and I do understand what you are getting at. Yes boredom may play an initial part of it...what can I do with myself... Oh look at that..... I will give it a go.

When the addiction grabs hold it becomes a cesspit of destruction and despair.

I didnt really know what to say. I was just a bit wary of all that just linked to boredom. I dont agree with any gambling now so am also wary about discussing gamblers "in control" vs "out of control". The very act of gambling is throwing caution to the wind. Its an irresponsible act even for a pound. Its no wonder gambling leads to addiction because in the simplest terms people want their reward and dont like losing

My apologies and all the very best

No apology needed J and all the best to you as well. Well, I know all about a "cesspit of destruction and despair" and I know that for me gambing was a distraction from other issues in my life particularly to do with anxiety which as I have written about elsewhere increased ten-fold as the addiction grew. So I know I where I'm at today - a recovering (my own interpretation) compulsive gambler. Cheers, Phil.