Hi all,
I have bought the book listed in the title but I haven't started reading it yet as it only arrived over the weekend. I wondered if anyone has read it and if it helped them?
I am determined to stop gambling. I signed up to Gamban 5 years ago and intend to reinstate my ban very soon as it's recently expired. The problem I have is that I have been using an app and have lost a lot of money on it recently. I am going to delete the app but I am currently extremely upset with myself for allowing myself to go back to gambling and I've justified it on some level as I enjoy playing Solitaire against others for money. I've cashed out a few times but I've lost a lot more than I have withdrawn, and I keep depositing. I've clearly been in denial until now and I've finally decided that I need to hand over my finances to my partner - as much as possible. We've been together nearly a year, and he is aware that I had a gambling issue years ago and is aware that I have debt because of it, but he isn't aware that I'm still struggling with this issue, as I've been in denial until recently and I don't want to cause him to distrust me. I know I should be honest. I have told him that I don't trust myself with money as it seems to slip through my fingers one way or another. I became addicted to ordering things on Vinted a few months ago but I've stopped ordering things on there and I'm selling as much as I can, and I intend to continue to sell things I don't need.
I used to be very good with money and used an online spreadsheet to track my income and outgoings, which I plan to do again soon. I am determined to control my addictive personality as much as I can and not live in denial any longer. It just seems that as soon as I get control of one bad habit, another one emerges. Whether it's gambling, shopping or alcohol, I seem to always develop a dependence on something. I really want to understand why this happens. It's extremely frustrating and I've come to the conclusion that it's a form of self harm. I think I possibly have ADHD or some form of mild bipolar that causes me to develop compulsions/addictions. I believe we are all addicted to something, whether it's the internet, TV, shopping, alcohol, drugs, food or gambling. No one is a saint and we all suffer with something but awareness is key to controlling our vices.
I'm a very hard working individual and I know that I can regain control if I stop living in denial, and take control of every aspect of my life - which is what I plan to do from this very day onwards. I know there is no cure from gambling. I am fully aware that the urges and temptation are something I'm going to have to live with for life. I need to find ways to control these urges and remind myself that I'm strong and I'm determined to make a success of my life. I earn good money and I know I can pay my debt off and accumulate some savings. I've told my partner that I'm going to be transferring the majority of my wages to him every week from now on. He's happy with this and I'm definitely going to do this, and not go back on this promise. I know it's one step at a time, and there is no quick fix. I'm not completely at rock bottom but I know I can't continue this way. Writing this post has really helped me. I read other people's stories on here regularly, and some are absolutely heartbreaking. I have so much respect for those that manage to work their way out of debt, stay gamble free and live an honest, healthy life.
The only way is up and I'm just so grateful for my partner, he is amazing in every way and I feel so lucky to have him in my life.
Thank you for reading and I'm looking forward to reading other people's replies to this post.
Julia
@nevereveragain well done with the post and realisation that you have an issue. Handing over your finances is a great idea.
Yeah, I have read Allen Carr's book. Personally, it wasn't for me but that doesn't mean it won't work for you. We all need different things in recovery so give it a read.
It's true that we all have weaknesses however I don't think we all have addictions. Personally I am prone to addictions but I really don't think everyone is. An addiction isn't just a weakness is a overriding compulsion that you pursue in spite of the negative consequences and you keep doing it. This is different to a weakness.... Everyone has weaknesses not everyone has addictions.
It's really good that you have a plan. Keep posting 😁
I didn’t like it , couldn’t relate to some things in the book
All nicely said but giving your money to your partner that you been with for about a 1 year and who knows you're vulnerable just be careful that's all.
I seen this before.
And to addictions?I have same problem when I stop gambling I start shopping massively on vinted or ebay and spend all my wages on there or anything else.Once you have addictive personality its not gambling you only.choosed gambling it can be and it will be anything else possible.We often replace one for another and on and on.I am on same boat
Hey Julia,
another option is to listen to the book on Spotify (free if you have the premium subscription). I started giving it a go today and I’m not quite sure it’ll be the answer for me but it’s definitely got some interesting points that makes you think.
PS it sounds like you have an awesome partner who deeply cares about you. Continue to be open and honest with them and I’m sure you can get through this together.
Hi. Well done on reaching out for support and recognising your addiction.
I read Overcoming Compulsive Gambling by Alex Blaszczynski when I first stopped and found it really helpful.
I have also read The Girl Gambler. Not the most eloquent or best written book but very identifiable in terms of how disordered thinking is when gambling.
The Recover Me app is great to learn distraction techniques.
Gordon Moody also offer a retreat and counselling programme. You have a four day retreat with 8 weeks of counselling and group therapy sessions before a second 3 day retreat.
They provide all your accommodation and food and it is in an amazingly beautiful location. They will pay your travel expenses if you need it. I highly recommend it and I met some great people who I stay in touch with and have met up with them twice.
Give them a call.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
