Almost 7 years since last gambled, but struggling

Hello  Warrior74

Thank you for posting on our Forum, it is good to have you here.

Almost 7 years gamble free is a truly amazing achievement, however, I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with urges that problem gambling brings.  You have identified where these urges to gamble are coming from and have reached out for support, which is what recovery is about. It is always good to be reminded that Recovery is a Journey and that it is about continuing the Journey.  There is no room for complacency and to be very mindful when working through past trauma, which is necessary for some to be able to move forward.  

Along with the Forum we have Advisers available 24/7 to help you through this.  You can contact them by calling our HelpLine on 0800 8020 133 or using the LiveChat option.  I encourage you to contact us so we can discuss the best way forward.

I  do hope that you will get the much needed support on our Forum and that you are able to share your own experience, strength and hope with others.

I wish you all the vest best with  your Counselling and Recovery.

Best

Forum Admin

I wish I could say 7 years gambling free but I cannot. Congratulations to you on your achievement! When the gambling urges come play out the scenario in your mind. You might win a few but you and I know that us compulsive gamblers cannot stop when we win. You will lose it back. Just remember the misery it caused you in the past and focus on the positive aspects of your life without gambling. Speak to a Gamcare counselor and work through this. I know you can get over this hurdle. Best wishes.

Thank you for your words of encouragement Gerard, it all helps. 

Thankfully I haven't been in this situation too many times. But I got to say, its bloody hard right now.

I done 8 years gamble free, then started again and pretty quickly had thousands of pounds debt and wasn't avle to pay my mortgage. I've recovered again but have set bigger targets.

The reason I'm replying to you is that this strong will power I had for 8 years didn't just crumble immediately, I tried poker for free as a means to get a £5 voucher for a football coupon, I done free poker games for 6 months and by that time I had the bug for gambling and I was prioritising my time on the games rather than life. I knew what was about to happen again, I didn't cofide in anyone, that was my weakness. 

Your strength has been coming on here and posting, well done. You have already identified the alternative to not gambling is giving in and gambling and that is way way worse!

I suggest write down things you lil

Posted by: Warrior74

Been having counselling for past trauma......and it's been tough.  [1]

I have suddenly started getting really strong urges to gamble, which are getting more frequent and intense. I guess I am looking for that ability to be able to forget about my issues that I would likely get from gambling. [2]

I have been feeling more and more like I am not 'living' my life, I am just existing........perhaps I am looking for that thrill and excitement gambling has to offer........something to just take the pain and sadness away.  [3]

Any advice how to get through this anyone? [4] I know, that I will lose everything if I gamble again.[5]

[1] Stressor triggering you to follow paths you used to go to when faced with such a stressor.

[2]You've identified a desire for escapism, as gambling is what you associate with escapism this would indicate to me that you need to address issues head-on or find a nondestructive form of escapism e.g. pottery or painting. Try things if you can't imagine a fit for yourself, imagine how good that path is as opposed to the one tempting you!

[3]I could have said that about myself, I believe it was Dr Jordan Peterson (his self help among others can be useful avenues to explore if you haven't!) that highlighted to me that this indicates the need for some new goals to aim for, achievable goals, if they are long term then break them down into short term steps that leads there and make them the goals. I'll bolt this on - you need some things for you e.g. hobbies, treats, fun, new experiences (aspects may be difficult to imagine or implement but there it is!). Imagine the potential gains from these options, what your life could be like with these, contrast that to what you know will be your life should you give in to temptation. Really imagine it, walk each of those paths in your minds eye every time you feel tempted.

[4] The previous 2 answers apply but perhaps you should pre-emptively bar yourself from gambling and request your bank doesn't authorise payments to bookies if you haven't already? Actively take further steps to make it harder to have a moment of weakness or stupidity?! 

[5] You're right about this point and yet we both know that knowledge isn't enough, it should be but sometimes we can kid ourselves one way or another to make the mistake, you know the reasons why and you have sought help instead of just ending the best run you've ever had (in staying away from this poison), I can't say the same for myself, I'm envious of you! Acknowledge and/or implement [1]-[5] don't be like me, it only makes the problems you share with me much, much. worse - I am facing years of faultless graft to dig myself out of the hole nevermind truly getting to where I want to be.

I say again that I am extremely envious of your success, please don't join me, I need to be joining you and following my own advice. It'll take me almost 7 years to get where you are if I start today considerably less if you start today!

Gambling addicts, like alcoholics and heroin addicts, are unable to "simply stop" consuming their substance of choice. Gambling addiction alters the brain in ways that necessitate treatment and rehabilitation in order to stop the addiction

Well done for the 8 years....takes strength. Ok you started again, but then you found your strength again to start your recovery. Well done.

I get what you are saying about the strong will power not crumbling overnight. I think this for me has been creeping up....it has been there in the background for a while.

I wouldn't beat yourself up about not confiding in anyone, perhaps it just didn't feel right at the time. I have an amazing partner, who is very understanding and I can talk to about anything, but I don't always want to or feel able to talk to her.

I wish you well in your recovery

Can empathise with your difficulties Warrior.

I have difficulty with issues of regret (as I posted in a thread on here), but also with enjoyment without gambling around.

I think there's a secret issue about giving up gambling that is about 'pleasure'. A big topic that maybe isn't often debated, but is very important - we've removed something that (though bad) felt like one of our pleasures in life. I still struggle on that I have to admit.

Posted by: JohnMac

Can empathise with your difficulties Warrior.

I have difficulty with issues of regret (as I posted in a thread on here), but also with enjoyment without gambling around.

I think there's a secret issue about giving up gambling that is about 'pleasure'. A big topic that maybe isn't often debated, but is very important - we've removed something that (though bad) felt like one of our pleasures in life. I still struggle on that I have to admit.

Couldnt agree more

Hi

I attended 11 counsellors more times than I could remember.

Guilt shame regret is living in the pains of our past.

Once I understood that having feelings guilt shame regret indicated that I had a healthy conscience.

Once I understood in my recovery that such feelings indicated I was still living in the past.

Once my actions and words were healthy I would permit my self to feel proud of my self not evil bad or stupid.

The addictions and obsessions only indicated that I was a very vulnerable person.

Once I exchanged my unhealthy habits in to healthy habits I could feel proud of my self.

Feeling proud also indicated that I valued my self as an equal to all people.

Humbling my self was a promotion to be an equal to all people.

I understand that the day I walked in to the recovery program and invested time and effort in to my recovery I was going to be enlightened how to find amuch healthier life.

Once I was able to value my self I would be able to value other people.

Once I was able to respect my self I could respect other people.

Once I was able to love my self I could love other people.

What ever emotional intimacy I wanted with the world I needed to give to my self first of all.

Once my pains were healed intimacy would be part of my life.

The inner child in me needed to heal the pains of my past.

The pains of my past caused fears in me that I did not understand.

Anger was an unhealthy reaction to my pains not healed.

Anger was an unhealthy reaction to my fears not faced or reduced.

Anger was an unhealthy reaction to my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.

Is living in fear healthy for me today.

Is living in pain healthy for me today.

I hope that this helps.

Love and serenity to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.