I was a week in, feeling lousy about myself and ashamed of all the trouble I have caused. Making my list of people I owe money to, bills that have gone unpaid etc so that me and my husband can try and sort things out. He has bipolar disorder so how much he can take control of all finances is kind of in question, it seems between the two of us, neither is fit with anything!
Anyway, yesterday I called netline and got a referral for counselling, we researched blocking software for rmy phone and decided on one but never set it up, I downloaded betfilter and just needed him to set a password. Well, he was in lots of pain from a historic brain injury and when it's bad he kinds of passes out, which he did last night. Boredom set in, itchy fingers started speaking to me, I caved, put 10 quid on a slot and won 250, felt absolutely awful about it, withdrew the money and then closed the account. My thing is though, I feel terrible for winning now along with feeling terrible for doing it. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror this morning. It's the cause of all my problems. Betfilter is now installed and operational on my phone I don't have access to any other way of getting onto those accounts and I am about to change my email address so that I don't see the emails of special offers and free spins etc.
Sorry for the long post, needed to get it out and into the open.
So now I am back to square one
I have relapsed so many times but you have to just pick your self up and carry on. Iv come back on here after a long time because Iv had a crappy day but Ilog back and read my posts about how life used to be and it really does stop me from going back there. You have done well to stop when you did, I go into ‘self destruct’ mode and never managed to quit after a win, I suppose for me winning was more dangerous than losing. Anyway, I have been where you are and I know it’s rubbish. I never told anyone about my gambling (even to this day) and it still weighs heavy on me but I can confirm life is 100% better when you stop. After a week you will honestly begin to feel it. Keep focused, work hard and pay your debts. You are among people who understand here, the shame doesn’t help although I know it’s hard to shake. Seems like you’ve got a plan, stick to it, you have got this!!
Hi Im new here and online slots has gotten me in the last 12 months only. I was paid a lump sum when i left my last employment and decided to try. At first i won and thought it was easy so went back...and went back and continued to go back until i had lost a few grand. I have been partly open with my partner but in truth i'm in self denial and its only through finding this that i am able to recognise that.
I have relapsed over the last few weeks most recently today. Im currently in a £3k hole and am panicking about my beautiful partner finding out that i have increased my overdraft to fund it.
Anyway...i have taken my first step today and hope its day one of my recovery.
Hi Pioneer, I am new too and hoping this place is the answer for me. Hearing other people's stories fills me with sadness, but amongst all their dispair, there is a kind of hope that here will give them the help they need. I hope this is the case for you also. I am trying really hard but it is so difficult. Lets hope we will get the help we need on here. I am cautiously optomistic. Something has to work.
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