General Discussion Forum

Hello tmlc,

Thanks for sharing this idea.

As well as wanting space to discuss 'Non-gambling' issues, you are letting us know that you'd like some 'Light relief'.

At the moment it seems that the 'Recovery diaries' section tends to be where members share more about their 'Non-gambling' lives, including other interests and light-hearted discussion, which can be part of recovery. There are also some positive, constructive and creative threads in the 'Overcoming' section.

Thanks again for letting us know how you're finding the forum, and what you feel you're missing. I'll pass on your feedback so that it is considered by management.

Adam.

Well thanks for the reply, and for passing on the suggestion.

I don't doubt that there is light relief entombed in these forums. The problem is its too hard to find. There is no indication from title threads of the discussion contained within. It would have to be stumbled upon, and unfortunately it would be equally likely to stumble upon some poor soul threatening suicide.

It would be beneficial to all to have an area where all comments would be varied, but in the same token, like minded.

Hi Gamcare,

I totally, 100% agree with tmlc on this point, and this subject in many forms has been raised on quite a few occasions before.

There are an enormous amount of people who post once, usually at a very low ebb, disappear and then post back again after relapsing.

As you know, compulsive gambling is a very isolating experience. A general discussion Forum would bridge that gap and could have a hand in stopping people before they make a mistake.

I have been a part of this Forum for around seven years now. No-one is left from that time, and the people who do join only do so for a short period of time - some have no-one, some are incredibly cu off from the outside world.

Not only that, there are people who need a welcome break from the serious nature of this website, or just want to talk. The Recovery Diaries section does an admirable job of tracking recovery with the odd reference to light-hearted conversation and everyday "banter", but it is very much in the minority, and even then, it is conducted amongst a select few who know each other well and, as tmlc said. there is no indication from the title threads as to what is contained inside - someone could click onto it, looking for some light-hearted conversation and read something that could push them over the edge.

Gamcare desperate needs (and is long, long overdue) as section purely for contact and non-gambling related issues and conversation. There are people here who have life issues, relationship problems etc; if there is somewhere to talk about these things, then you may well prevent them from relapse.

My final point is that there are few people here who post back and say how well they are doing, which inspires me to contribute literally thousands of posts every year. Most people don't want to come back onto this website; gambling becomes a "dirty word" in their eyes, and of those who know them - this would open up another avenue for postive, upliting posts which is sorely, sorely needed - even after five gamble-free years, it is something that gives me enormous motivation to help others and stay on this path.

As I said, I appreciate the wonderful work you do and everything that goes into it, but I respectfully feel that this is long overdue.

JamesP

I have never used the chat side of the forum but I figured that that was the place that people went for light hearted banter ? Maybe I got that wrong .

In my time on here I found less suicidal posts on the diary section and more desperate ones on the new members pages.

I guess we all view the forum differently but I always figured that the diary section was more an introspective personal documentation of highs and lows of recovery and for people who after perhaps many times of quitting now looking at the deeper issues as to why they are gambling or have been in gambling relationships,

I am surprised more people who are looking for further lighthearted discussion are not using the Overcoming section more or chat and sharing their ideas about how they are overcoming their urges with other things?

I would say the opportunity for light hearted banter is vast on the site . In the past the diary section has been accused of being too lighthearted and not gambling related enough with funny posts, pictures , film and music links.

I guess the old maxim is that you can please some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time .

🙂

Thanks JamesP and Ex Doormat, for sharing your thoughts on tmlc’s idea about how the forum could be developed.

I’ve made the forum staff aware of this thread, and a member of management is collating your suggestions for consideration.

Ex Doormat, you’ve made the points that people have found opportunities for light-hearted banter in various parts of the forum and the chat room, and that it can be a challenge to please everybody. JamesP, you’ve agreed with tmlc that it could be helpful to have a designated section of the forum for more uplifting posts that foster an inclusive sense of camaraderie and community.

(Perhaps one way to create a home for positive and inspiring posts, while at the same time keeping an appropriate focus on recovery, could be to have a section with the theme of ‘Enjoying recovery’, where members could post celebrations of their progress in recovery, or aspects of their life in recovery that inspire them with gratitude… which also might provide others with hope, that progress is possible and sometimes even enjoyable?)

Thanks again for your contributions.

Adam.

Hi Adam ,

" Enjoying Recovery"I think is a great idea. For the likes of me it would not be necessary (sighs of relief all round ...;-) ...but it would be good for people who want to come back and share their successes in being gamble free or whatever but not necessarily resurrecting their diaries or past posts.

It would be great to have a discussion section that's more lighthearted ...wow...the possibilities are endless. !!

Sometimes when I log on I type the wrong letters in ..the amount of times I type Gamcafe...lol

It's an idea though for another section on the forum , Gamcafe....a leisurely place for likeminded GC's to hang out. You could even have little cyber coffee cup icons as an ice breaker..

Don't worry , I won't be giving up my day job.

R and D xx

Ps..not checked if this exists but in AA they have online 12 step meetings? ...not sure if that facility is there for GCs but maybe Gamcare can be pioneers and make it an addition to chat? Run in the same way as chat at a fixed time on particular days?

I think GamCafe is a brilliant idea for a name and for a thread. And much needed. x

Hello Redeemed,

Your helpful feedback will be brought to the attention of management.

Thanks,

Forum Admin.

Hi

In time I would be able to live life with out fear and self doubt any more.

It was important to understand my emotional triggers and find resolve and healing.

My inability to share myself indicated that I had fears of emotional intimacy long before my addictions and obsessions.

Sadly when I walked in to the recovery program I did not know that I was burying and suppressing my feelings and emotions.

My anger was due to my pains not being healed.

My anger was due to my fears not being healed.

My anger was due to my frustrations because of my high expectations of people life and situations..

I had fears in me which were a consequence of unresolved and unhealed pains in my child hood.

By sharing topics our side of my addictions and obsessions I would have focus on my emotional triggers.

My emotional triggers were my pains not healed, my fears not faced, my frustrations were due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations, my boredom was due to me not being motivated, and my loneliness was due to my fears of emotional intimacy.

Having a healthy sponsor is very important.

A healthy sponsor should be tolerant patient nurturing and encouraging towards healthy interactions.

A healthy sponsor will not take any responsibility for a person new found coping skills.

A healthy sponsor will be honest with out being cruel.

A healthy sponsor will help people be self sufficient.

I asked my wife what love was to her, she told em that love was giving of your self unconditionally.

That was new to me.

Giving of myself unconditionally is very easy today.

Some may think that last date of bet is important, it was for me, but now it is how healthy I am today that counts.

Exchanging unhealthy habits in to healthy habits takes time for sure.

Having healthy motivations takes time.

Having healthy empathy for myself took healing and time.

Is my tendency to interact with all people today.

Of my emotional triggers frustrations were the hardest to over come, my frustrations were due to my unreasonable expectations of life people and situations when they they do not go my way I use to internalize things.

How important is it to show my gratitude and appreciation today.

Is showing my gratitude and appreciation an expression of my healthy values today.

Is showing my gratitude and appreciation an expression of how much people mean to me today.

Please keep going to meetings, you will benefit from it in so many ways.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Dave ?, Why are you even posting this on a thread that's well over 5 year's old ? .

The way you copy and paste this  "Generic stuff " is ridiculous , any newbie that gets a copy will no doubt just turn and Run and I truly believe after reading the first couple of lines most others will just switch off ? , do you speak like this to other's in the supermarket while paying for groceries , or to the mechanic that's fixing your car ? .  

Your'e  recovery is your business but please just try and engage with people instead of just handing out a " Script " as there blowing around the forum like " Tumbleweed in a western "  !! . 

I’ve been thinking this for a long time too, Alan. But have refrained from saying anything. 

Dave, all your posts seem to be about how YOU have felt or have gone about things in the past. Which is fine obviously. Good in fact, as it’s always brilliant to know how others have dealt with all such things like recovery, gambling urges, debt, family heartache etc etc. 

However, I’ve not seen a single post from you which has looked even remotely personal to the person that you’re replying to. No follow up questions etc. 

It’s all very bizarre, I must admit.