Watching sports without betting

As an aspiration at least, I would try and get into something else.

In my personal experience, obsessive sports interest (particularly armchair variety) and gambling addiction are the same kind of thing. They both involve escapism and basically one-way gorging on a never ending stream of inconsequentiality.

In spite of branding telling us that footie obsession is an incredibly social, lad-ish experience, the reality is that most of this obsession is a one way relationship between us and the tv/internet or back pages of a newspaper.

I never really understand why people who stop sports gambling yearn to get back into watching a lot of sport again, albeit without the gambling aspect. I don't direct this personally at you John as this is more a thing I've previously thought - but when people get misty eyed about pre-gambling days sport watching, I do wonder if it was really that good or was real life just too difficult? Is it not a good opportunity to take up interests which can be more rewarding?

It's like that Tracey Ullman Show sketch about the woman on her death bed saying her one regret in life was that she didn't spend more time playing candy crush.

Thank you for answering me. You served a lot of wisdow here and I agree mostly with you.

You said:
"In my personal experience, obsessive sports interest (particularly armchair variety) and gambling addiction are the same kind of thing. They both involve escapism and basically one-way gorging on a never ending stream of inconsequentiality. "

Very true in my case. I was an obsessive sport fan since I lost my father. He loved football and we went to the games together. We had probably the most beautiful moments of my life together on the stadium. When he passed away, I felt I had an obligation (what a stupid idea) to be more fanatic than ever. To root for our team for me and for him. I travelled all the country. I joined the "Ultras". I lost a lot of money, gf, job, school, health (drinking and doing drugs all the games) for a f*****g football team. You know whats the funnier (or sadder probably)? I am a total sceptical in other spheres of life. I am an atheist. I used to mock people who were fanatics for religion or anything spiritual. But as a pathetic contradiction I was a caricature of a dumb bigot hooligan!!!

So I had to move on, married, bought a home, got a new job. And couldnt go more to the stadiums. But as I was reaching 40, I was being less affected by my team winning and losing form. I realized it WASN T a matter of life and death. I "de-fanatisied."

But after occupying too much time of my life with my football team, when I put it aside, it left a hole. A vacuum. Something to be filled.

I then return to watching basketball, what I did more when I was a teen AND ALSO return to betting. Now I can even bet AGAINST my team if I think I may win. This is both good and bad: good that I am cured of my team fanaticism, bad because I am now fanatics of my "Betting fc" as I would call my new fav team (meaning that one I bet on that moment).

So, what I want is to have a healthy relation with sports again. Capable of watching it and having fun without betting. Like when I was a kid and watched Michael Jordan on TV and admired him, and got a boost of self confidence (something I misses so much today) seeing how he could do anything because more than a genius he had this phenomenal strenght of will. And maybe I could make plans to save for years and watch live NBA matches or European Champions League finals instead of blowing away the trip money on betting. I need to find out how. I dont disagree with you when you say that might be an escapism. Probably it is. I watch a lot of sports and bet on them to escape from the reality I couldnt make it of being a sportman. Few other things raise my interest in life. I like history too but I just cant spend 18 hours of my weekend reading about the World War. I think if I could watch 4 -6 hours of basketball and football It would do good for me, but only if it didnt trigger on me this almost painful desire to bet on them. I quit smoke a few years ago and can tell you this is the same sensation. Or even worse.

Fair play John thanks for explaining further.

Maybe you can't re-create the effect from before because you have fundamentally changed? I think when we're younger we're drawn in to the tribalism of sport and idolisation of sports persons. I think as we get older these things become less important.

Maybe you can get a 'healthy relation with sports again', but it will be a new type of relationship rather than re-establishing the old one.

Anyway, on your original point, I was mostly slots but also some sports. I don't have any compulsion at all to bet when I watch sports now (GF for 4 years). That said, as you might have guessed, sport is less important in my life now though.

Are you saying that you cannot have a beer without wanting a cig even after a few years of not smoking? Just interested as I stopped smoking about 3 years ago (after smoking for around 20 years) and don't have that connection at all any more - well only very ocassionally.

I remember being absolutely convinced, when a smoker, that life fundamentally and on a deep level, could never be as good as a non-smoker. This included stuff like not being able to 'really' enjoy a pint. Turns out that was all total nonsense and just the addiction talking.

I do can have some beers without wanting to smoke do now, but a few one, and thats because I stopped smoking for 5 years. The first two were very frustrating.

But I dont think we can say I ACTUALLY and LITERALLY quit smoking. I used to smoke 20/40 cigarettes a day and since 5 years ago I never smoked again SOBER. But lets say twice a month when I drink a lot I borrow a couple of cigarettes or buy a pack. Mostly I drink at home but If I go at a bar and become drunk and people are smoking on my field of vision I feel very irritated until I smoke one. Or five.

But in the light of the day for example a colleague at work lights a cigarette I feel I can puke, only the smell make my stomsch and liver twist.

"Maybe you can get a 'healthy relation with sports again', but it will be a new type of relationship rather than re-establishing the old one."

Bingo. Thats exactly what I will try to do. Not certainly HOW to do thatt and if I can ReALlY make it.And you are correct again when you say that when we are young we need more models. But then again, as a midde aged adult I still hope to learn from example of wise people, like being on this forum.

Morning John 🙂

My question is, do you still sports or are you just watching to be closer to your dad?

I'm thinking, if you actually still like sports abs want to watch more, why not just record the games online or via Virgin or sky, don't watch the games live and watch them once they are fine. Completely removing the ability to bet? 🙂

JimmyBoy wrote: Morning John 🙂 My question is, do you still sports or are you just watching to be closer to your dad? I'm thinking, if you actually still like sports abs want to watch more, why not just record the games online or via Virgin or sky, don't watch the games live and watch them once they are fine. Completely removing the ability to bet? 🙂

I indeed like sports, specially basketball which cost me much less than football maybe because I took it less obsessive and with less fanaticism. I think basketball do well for me, better than football. And your idea of recording is simple but made me think and I surely will try this. Thank you!

Hi JK.

I find it interesting because sport was never my trigger to gamble. Cardhue has covered the escapism aspect of it. Ive seen the stories of deeply addicted people picking Saudi Arabian teams on Christmas day to have a bet on.

Im fairly sure the compulsion works in the same way through various forms of betting. I think you have to establish a new relationship with sport. I can watch a good game of football without betting but Im not really a sports fan. They said it is the new religion and Ive met fans who live by the ups and downs of their team. I see some fans as addicted to watching football but they would say its a healthy activity

I think its being honest with yourself what you get out of it without the compulsion of a bet...the machines are as dull as dishwater without a stake so it may work in the same way. However as you know its also about escape linked to stress and all sorts of feelings

I dont know really and hope you can get more advice from people who stopped sports betting. I suppose its about introducing some harmless element of forfeit if your team loses but that may play into a gambling mentality.

I play computer games which is also escapism but is enjoyable and is not gambling. Perhaps you do need to get some hobbies and other interests. I get a feeling of expectation from collecting and I keep as busy as possible.

Best wishes from everyone on the forum