What were unhealthy habits for me, living in fear, not healing my pains, justifying my lies, living in guilt shame regret, fearing emotional intimacy.

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(@q86r2ugj5p)
Posts: 2016
Topic starter
 

Hi

The addictions and obsessions just indicated how emotionally vulnerable I was.

The addictions and obsessions were a form of escape for me.

Telling lies just indicated how much fear I was living in.

Paying back money was me learning to be more accountable to my self.

The money  was just the fuel for my addiction.

Fearing of being honest and accountable I thought that it would be painful and I would lose people.

My frustrations were due to my unreasobable expectations of people life and situations.

By me having my unreasobable expectations I was causing my self pains.

It took me a long time to learn to expose my self in every way possibly emotionally.

By reducing my fears of being honest I opened up to sharing my self in emotional intimate ways.

Being a loner was very unhealthy for me.

By saying I have  to do things was not a healthy motivating way.

The more meetings I went to the more I got out of my recovery.

Sadly no one or thing could stop me gambling it was all up to me.

The gambling establishments never hurt me I hurt y self.

The gambling establishments never lied to me I lied to my self.

Thinking I could get some thing for nothing was very foolish of me.

Today I do not want or need to gamble.

Every time I gambled I made things much worse and more painful in my life.

In time I got more honest with my self.

I walked in to the recovery program not fully understanding how emotionally vulnerable I was.

In my life I have suffered many kinds of pains before gambling and escape was a big part of my life.

The person I needed to face going in to the recovery program was my self.

I have seen many people going back to their addictions and obsessions and unhealthy habits.

Each time going back to our unhealthy addictions we get to learn what our last emotional triggers was.

By going back to our unhealthy addictions I get to understand where I need to do more work on my self.

In time the hurt inner child opens up and blossoms in their life.

In having healthy intimacy is also part of the healing process.

By me living in fear and self doubt I restricted my self of the helthy healing process.

There is not a thing I have hid from the meetings.

Some times I wonder if theyr know me better than I know my self.

The question is today how much do I value my self in a spirtual way.

The question is today how much more time and effort do I put in to my recovery and healing today.

Healing Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

 
Posted : 15th March 2024 6:26 pm
(@1y6nrqvgdi)
Posts: 36
 

very well said, I get the loner part I'm an outgoing  person  then sometimes  a loner. 

I wish you peace  of mind and recovery stay strong

 
Posted : 16th March 2024 12:26 am
Forum admin reacted
(@q86r2ugj5p)
Posts: 2016
Topic starter
 

@1y6nrqvgdi 

Hi

The recovery program helped me find a healthy emotional intimacy that was part of the healing my pains process.

I understand now it is not healthy for me to isolate my self healthy emotional intimacy moments.

Being the loner is not my choice today.

Just for today I do not need or want to have any unhealthy habits in my life.

Love healing and peace to every one.

Dave L

 
Posted : 16th March 2024 6:41 am
(@q86r2ugj5p)
Posts: 2016
Topic starter
 

@1y6nrqvgdi 

Hi the more time and effort we put in to a healthy recovery the less of a loner we become.

In fact emotional intimacy is a big part of our healing.

Dave L

 
Posted : 17th March 2024 4:18 pm

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