Willpower!

Good point Deano . I'd have to say it depends on the individual in question really and what you mean by willpower alone ? to fully go it alone would mean no support whatsoever, so you could say you may not have any family support or not be on a forum such as this ? . That would then suggest that not going it alone is anything that involves GA or councilling ?.

I and many others on here don't do councilling or GA but have the support of our family , blocks in place and the support of this forum and at the moment seem to be doing very well but by having all this added support I don't feel as though I'm alone with my recovery as there's always someone to reach out to for support if the need arose ?.

I think whatever route we take still boils down to willpower to some extent as you could walk away from anything GA , councilling and get around any blocks that you put in place , should you find the urge to gamble to great to fight ?.

Lots of ways of looking at things I suppose but good point to question .

Well done for kicking things off Deano 🙂

Personally, willpower has only ever worked for me for a period of time. Sometimes that's a short period, sometimes much longer but in the end something happens and that willpower fades. Then what am I left with? My uncle gave up smoking for more than 15 years. The great game of life threw one of its punches and guess what? He went straight back to it. It was what he knew to deal with stress.

Good topic Deano, Alan, LifeBegins. Yes willpower certainly has alot to do with abstainance from an addiction, but as pointed out, eventually our willpower may dwindle due to the continuing temptations. That's why our support network is vital to safeguard us. We keep ourselves in check by helping and advising others.

And what is willpower? Where do you get it? Do some people just naturally have more than others?

Probably yes. A bit like confidence. Can be gained through experience but likely to be linked with personality?

Hi , I do not think initially you can use will power alone. The part of the brain (prefrontal cortex) is the part that we use for decision making, behaviour and judgement. it's a muscle, you can change your thought process. Whilst I have the blocks in place to help keep me gf I am training that part of my brain to think differently and therefore I will have more will power and I will never ever gamble again. You may be thinking why did I not use this before to stop, the answer is because 1, I am stubborn and would not accept I had a problem, 2, I would not accept the losses. I also had to understand why I turned to gambling when I had never done it before in my life and worked through that. That in my opinion is what gives you more will power.

Not usually one for debates...Can never really see why others don't share my point of view but since we're all in agreement I'll chuck my response in.

Before I came here I categorically knew that willpower was all I needed...3 million relapses & counting suggested otherwise.

Now, I know better, it's not & the people on the site who believe that it is are proof of that. I would agree that people here aren't doing it on willpower alone in any case but also say that having this site is not enough in itself either. I needed to know I wasn't the only crazy fool with a decent job & a roof over my head behaving in this way & also needed to hear that there was no such thing as controlled gambling. Then I needed to accept it & admit I had a problem before drawing a line under my losses. These are the things that kick started my abstaining. Since then, I have leant on my husband (useless as he is), my diary (silent as she is), my cyber friends (who are better @ giving advice than taking it) & Dan (who, love him or hate him knows a thing or 2 about recovery & kicks me up the b*m when required).

For me willpower is the mental capacity to follow through with the choices we know are right, not the ones we'd prefer to make!

Deeeaaaannnnoooo and all.

Willpower alone. My first instinct is no chance. Even posting on here and having a gamcare user name counts as support.

Willpower alone. Just kidding yourself really. We have had disputes, arguments on here about counting days etc. This on its own does not work. Perhaps Dan is right (did i just admit that!!. Sorry Dan x). Address the "addiction". That in itself takes more than willpower

Best wishes x

So we're all in agreement willpower alone isn't enough. Will is to make a conscious rational decision. Power it to drive you forward with the process.

Willpower needs constant stimulation to stop you becoming willpower depleted.

To answer lbs question willpower is a part of the decision making part of the brain. When using willpower the brain consumes 5 time's more glucose

So say someone's on a diet and they restrict sugars. The brain then gets willpower depleted. Because of the lack of glucose intake. The diet goes to pot because the brain needs to feed.
Like quitting smoking you suddenly get a sweet tooth. That's because the brain is burning through the glucose to keep your willpower going.

the above is a case study I read and I can add it to the section if anyone would like to read it?

You are a learned man Deano, I'm impressed with your reading choice! I'm more Dawn French Chicklit to be honest, but I'm sure if you post a link lots of the GC guys and gals will have a butchers.

xx

In the best part of 10 years in recovery, i have as yet not seen anyone have long term freedom on willpower alone. I have been on this forum for nearly 2 years & the pages are litered with serial relapsers who continue to try it that way.
Im old enough to remember the complete nonsense Nancy Reagan campaign of the 80s, Just Say No. Jeez, if only it was that simple.
Thats a bit like saying to a homeless person, just get a home!

Social pressures centered on the myth that willpower is all that is needed to control a gambling problem, results in peoples unwillingness to study their powerlessness over it.

The image of being able to control ones own gambling on willpower alone can be intoxicating for the addict. It feeds into the mindset of the disease.
Only once people surrender to the undisputable fact that they can not gamble on their terms anymore. That once they start, they are powerless to stop or control it, do you begin to see signs of hope.

Understanding your personal powerlessness is the foundation for any successful approach to recovery.

Willpower alone will never cut it. Its complete insanity to believe it ever will.

You got into this mess to begin with because you have no power over gambling. That no amount of your will is enough to stop you.

Yet most then put their faith in the one thing that has never worked for them before.

Doing it alone or on willpower is just about pride & ego. Two things that people who want recovery are prepared to let go of.

Long term recovery is considered by most to be 5years plus, as is mirrored in all life threatening diseases. It is only when people get to around that time that the statistics begin to turn in your favour of the condition not coming back. If that sounds a bit doom & gloom sorry but its a fact.
So if your aim is not only to stop, but stay stopped then you are clearly going to need some help getting through this. Its not easy, even for those accepting help, for those who continue fighting alone? In my experience nigh on impossible.

Tbh I don't think it's doom and gloom. But my question is what constitutes to going it alone?
Imo going it alone would be just trying to stop and keeping the whole thing to yourself. That to me is just doing as you have always done. Which inevitably becomes a case of full circle.
A lot of people will say well I can pay my debts off before anyone finds out. Again even if they do the process starts again with the mindset I've done it beforehand I can do it again.

My next question is what everyone's opinion is on blocks!
This might be a case of me being in denial? But for me I don't see the point in self exclusion or blocking software.
For me the reason being.
Time and time again I see people write if it wasn't for my blocks I would of gambled today.
Or I walked in the bookies I'm self excluded from and know one batted an eye lid.
Or I relapsed when I realised my self exclusion period had ended
To me that's block dependant.
For me this whole process is based on me wanting it. Not forcing it. If that makes sense?

Half life that makes perfect sense. I've never looked at it from opposing side's. I agree it would be a good reassurance from the partners view. I'm still learning so thank you

I think when people initially start to come to terms that they can't control their gambling and end up here for instance , their looking for answers , something to at least cling to in the hope of putting the brakes on something thgat they can't stop alone .

The blocks are a good first port of call in those circumstances because when used properly they can at least address the imediate requirement's of stopping gambling , making it more difficult to gamble and restricting access to money and location. That being said we all quickliy learn that those blocks alone can't be the one thing that stops you gambling and the mixture of acceptance and having to want to change your life and your mindset is a must whichever route you choose to do it by , blocks afford you a little time at the beginning to think before you act and nothing more , they worked for me and are still in place but I know full well I could go elswhere if I wanted to gamble , so again were back to choice and willpower and I still believe it's about you and how much you want never to return to old ways :)) ?