Hi all.
Its a question of what willpower is in relation to a gambling addiction.
Its not just thinking right I will stop now and start counting the days. Its not just about joining the forum and introducing themselves
Its a willingness to totally submit to the tried and trusted advice. a will to be open and honest, admit that whatever it is has totally beaten you and reach out for all the avenues of help. A willingness to study and search your soul for the real answers I feel are there.
Its a willingness to tell people close however hard that may be and to hand financial control away to people who care
Harsh as it sounds to newcomers, there is dabbling at recovery in a deluded  and addicted state vs the real actions needed. That confusion can often lead to a beligerance or overconfidence that it can be done their own way and they can handle it with minimal advice
Ive seen plenty of new joiners that run scared of the advice and seem to feel they are being given advice by geeks. After all they are adults and they can handle it themselves.... Right?
It took me 10 months to do anything really productive about it after joining the forum. I was embarrassed and scared to fill out the exclusion forms and I was patting myself on the back for the days gamble free between relapses. The truth is that I had no money to gamble on those days after paying the threatening bills, heavily in debt and my paydays were fortnightly at the time so I was back gambling as soon as money came in.
I wrote a nice piece but it was far from getting at the crux of who I am.
When I started facing the uncomfortable truth in my soul it all started to come together. Crying for three days was  getting it out and a rock bottom moment for me. Then something washed over me which just seemed right...not a religious moment but a born again feeling of pure humility in the face of this. Then I acted fast and with real pride.
So its an extremely dangerous addiction which can make a mockery of willpower. The strength needed comes from support and confidence to act on good advice. Its a serenity to realise that I can overcome it but must never be complacent
Best wishes to everyone on the forum
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