To all the above.
You have a hard choice to make.
The people you describe are addicted gamblers and not taking you for mugs for fun or because they don't care or because they don't love you.
They just need to find a way to gamble no matter what as it is in control of them.
If you truly want to make your relationships work you must understand that they cannot be trusted full stop with money as it stands.
Access has to be stopped - not as punishment or to take over or belittle but simply to remove the possibility to gamble in the first place.
If your partners really want to stop and are ready then they will sacrifice this control and pass it to you if you have made the choice to understand them and support them in this difficult struggle.
It won't be easy but can be done.
SOME TIPS....
Joint accounts bad idea.....
Cash only account with low withdrawal limit good idea....(saving account with £100 daily limit available in banks with text alerts to your mobile so you can monitor any sudden spends instantly)
All other accounts need to be in your control/possesion at all times and checked regulally with strong rule from the offset of your partner cannot ask for control back for a while full stop else it just will undo all your good work for both of you as a couple.
Treat each other regually to reward maintaining the non gambling and make it clear that the money is 100% theirs just that this measure is to save the relationship and stop the gambling full stop.
Gamblers TRUST the non gambler it is your saving grace. This will be the only way to Guarantee success.
Make it clear to friends family that no money can be lent or borrowed or given to the gambler as it is not to help but to hinder.
Lastly - Declare everything now---every debt, every borrowing and hold nothing back...... as this is the sort of thing that will cause....oh my salary is just £this amount an not £this actual amount as i gotta pay kids back or dave at work as can't tell other half that aswell....etc.....
This is why it is a hard decision to make as you need to be ready to hear everything and not judge but love and take action together to get the love and trust back to where it needs to be.
Good luck my friends
Regards
Wayne
Rmi75 I'm sorry to hear that, I am in the same position. Thinking of you x
Thank you Katiecola and cmarie xx
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