Never done one of these before, not sure what im doing. I have been with my boyfriend 9 years this year and am so madly in love with him but for those 9 years, and more before we met, he has a gambling problem. I cant remember when I first found out about this but have been trying to help ever since. He wants the help, he admits he has a problem but cant seem to get the help anywhere. He has been to councilling sessions, they havnt worked, and for the past couple of months has struggled to even get an appointment. He is going to his first GA meeting Monday, I fear that these will have the same result. We are already in so much debt, he used to steal me debit card, he doesnt do this now, i think mainly because I am in so much debt myself - through him - but i have just found out he has maxed out a new credit card on online gmbling, that we got to help pay for two outstanding loans he has from gambling in the bookies a good few years ago. He lives with me and my parents, my parents expect board (rightly so) as well as us saving for a house, which isnt happening. They cannot know, they aren't the most understanding of people, my father would most definatly kick him out the house and I cannot see him on the streets. He has a good Job, his boss cannot know as he and my father are friends. I am so lost with what to do. I cant get out of my overdraft and have continuous overdraft fees to pay, which of course creates a circle of debt in itself. We have looked at thearpy, particularly CBT, has this worked for anyone?? Problem is, everything is costly and we have no money. I have had to sell my jewellery, he has given up playstation + games, even his car - I have nothing left to sell! I am a student, I have started a part time job to help pay off my overdraft, I work in a 0 hour contract to help coincide with my studies so as you can imagine my wage isn't always great. What else is left? I have even considered the Jeremy Kyle show, thats how desperate I am, but I am so ashamed and embarrased. Since the beginning of the money struggles I have been diagnosed with severe depression. Is it just down hill from here? I cant see a way out. I just want him to get the help he needs and to get us out of this money situation.
Hi moon, it's a shame to see you here embroiled in this problem. A gambler will stop when he wants to. Helping a gambler is not to give them money. You need some help and support. If you're in debt and can't pay call stepchange. Call gamcare for free counselling for yourself, he can call too. GA is a great place if you accept your problem, 100% commitment and no excuses. Is there a gamanon meeting for you? Safeguard your finances, stop bailing him out. There is help out there for you. This is an addiction that is progressive, never cured. It's tough, recovery doesn't happen overnight. There are many things he can do download online software, join gamstop, hand over finances, self exclude. Your focus needs to be on you, stop repeating the same behaviour, look after your finances and possessions. Look up Gamanon and see if there's a meeting for you. Keep posting, someone else will answer too.
Hi i have a problem myself. but just last week i found GamStop. you sign up online put all your email address in and your address and it bans you from all uk gov registered casinos. which is a lot. I wish id found this out myself months ago but it is a new thing. The site stops any uk registered casino from letting you gamble with them. All of them have to sign up by the end of the year. You can ban yourself up to five years which is what i did.
I was bad on roulette up and down and up and down and out. last week i had had enough. i hope it works. Oh and its free to sign up. so get on and do it. within a few months you will both feel better about life and getting that house.
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