Devastated (again)

This could be a long one.

Me and my Husband have been together for 21 years. And bought our first house in 2006. My Husband did suffer a tragic bereavement in 2008. 

In 2010 I found out that my Husband had been gambling for years. He not only used his money to gamble he also took cards out in my name too and I didn't have a clue. He paid for a PO box so that we wouldn't receive the post through our front door. Anyway he failed to make the payment for the PO box and I finally got a letter through the door from a debtor saying I owed them money. Rung my Husband up at work to say I think they've made a mistake. Next thing I know he's back home and that's when he told me what he had done. He even took the money from our Son's savings account. Our Son was 2 at the time. I took my Son and we stayed with my parents for a couple of months but ended up going back. Both our credit reports were terrible now. My parents helped him out with paying a few of the debts off and we subsequently paid them back. Couple of years later we were happy again and our second child was born. We was only in a small house at the time and needed more space but no where would give us a new mortgage until a few years later when a specialised company did!! 

We got the house we could only dream of. It was/is perfect for us and our family. My Husband suffered another two bereavements within a short period of time a couple of years ago. It was so hard. Recently he'd been feeling really low and I asked him if he had issues with money again which he denied. (He got the same way the first time. Being eaten up with worry that I would eventually find out.) A few days ago I find out he had done it again. Slightly different though he had got more CC's out (in his name only) and put money in a cryptocurrency to try and make more money. He lost it. Then he kept trying to chase the losses with more money and gambled in between. He hasn't defaulted on any payments yet but can't continue to make them at the rates they are. The big difference now is our children are slightly older and can see Mummy is upset. My Husband did sit down and explain to the kids that Daddy made a mistake with money and would do all he could to make it right. That broke him. I'm glad it did!! At the moment we are sharing the house but I have a decision to make going forward. Do I leave To? Or to continue to make ends meet we need to consolidate the debt or look into an IVA or remortgage. But all of those options seem to include or effect me which just seems so unfair. I'm filled with so much hate at the moment and putting on a brave face is getting harder and harder. Does it get easier? Will it ever stop? He says he will never do it again. How do I believe that? What was the best avenue for you to go down to get rid of debt?