Does counseling work?

Have a great holiday, glad to hear that things are still going well for you both.

Pieces x

Everything is still going well as far as I know. One thing I've noticed is that we haven't really had many new people at our GamAnon groups for the last year or so. Maybe a few, but nothing compared to what it used to be previously. Not sure what's happening and if this is the case for others. Why don't people come? Why don't people come back?

It's pretty scary to deal with and something that needs continual help - for yourself and others. Why wouldn't you want to go and help yourself be a better person?

Anyway, we still have a core group of people that are really close and I am very lucky to know.

Hi FLC..

I also ask that question about the high drop off rate on supporters side or in 3d gamanon groups etc..the only thing I can come up with is family constraints, looking after children,work to earn more money as a buffer to losses and domestic work takes priority over personal development ...which is understandable.

When we are under stress we want a quick fix and when there isnt one as it involves a committment long term then I guess folks put their own longer term needs way down the list again...

I see gamanon a bit like an insurance policy...pain in the a** sometimes investing in it when youd rather put your feet up and forget .. but when the s**t hits the fan you are really glad you invested in it..lol....

Truthfully I initally went into gamanon to shame my partner into finding help but it didnt work as he was quite happy for me to take the bulk of the responsibility for our failing relationship.

Personal development and growth is a selfish occupation and many people have real problems with that... but its an occupation well worth while as it can be the glue that holds the bigger picture together.

Im still on the forum soley 100% for me now.

Some spouses at the end of their rope probably feel that the gambler that has to sort it out on their own as they have lost all interest or even stopped loving of that person.......which is fair enough..plus slips are likely so if that is not built into the bigger picture it can be a case of "do it again and im out"

For some after living in the gambling situation for so long they maybe are also wanting an escape ..so to be involved in recovery themselves if their time is limited may seem like doing more homework when they themselves want to get out and have fun and escape for a while themselves.

R and D xx

Just a quick update, four years and almost a month now! Each day at a time. It's still scary but less so. We went for dinner to celebrate four years, it was a lovely evening.

Today we picked up his work car, a massive achievement, he has started a new role and is really embracing life. He has a work credit card so we've decided that when he has the statement emailed to him he'll show me it. They police it pretty heavily so it isn't a big concern of mine at the moment. We still go to GamAnon and GA each week. I always say it's him taking his medicine. To all that might read this I wish and pray peace for you. I reread my first couple of entries it was heartbreaking to remember the pain, fear and just anguish. I hope you find the right path for you.

It's hard when you've got friends who don't know about the gambling and talk about it. Just having a conversation about winning the lotto the other day with the four of us put me on edge. I kept trying to change the conversation but one guy was determined to discuss it. It really shook me up. We never discuss gambling or odds. You can never be settled with this disease.

I just wanted to pick up on a couple of points here...

First of all, just some thoughts in response to your question as to why so many people drop out of GamAnon? I went once to my local group and while the people there were really lovely and very welcoming, I just felt that they were all further down the path than me. They seemed completely accepting of the situations they found themselves in, while I felt like I was just an angry mess and that maybe it wasn't OK to actually say what I was thinking / feeling etc. (almost like that's maybe not 'the done thing'.) I also didn't understand why I should have to work through the 12 steps!

Secondly, you are so right fourleafclover, any harmless chat that I hear about the lottery or more recently at work we had a raffle completely puts me on edge! Also, last night watching TV, I swear on EVERY ad break there was an advert for bingo / some casino. I just turned the TV off. We are bombarded with it all the time.