I am an Ex wife of a Gambler & a mother of a Gambler .
My Ex Husbands Gambling (which i didn't realise ) , until after i had a major breakdown in 2001 trying to hold the family together. He literally gambled a Million +. My Son who is now 30 has gambled since he was 17 & he & his dad are each others enablers. 6 months ago i told my son I no longer want him in my life also. He has stolen, pawned , Taken items from everyone in the family (inc & elderly & children) Since I am the only one who confronts this & taken action . I have been threatened with violence intimidation & harm on all levels. He has recently become a father again ( The first child different mother) he has abandoned . He will only allow me to see my new grandchild if I don't tell his new partner or anyone else about the threats. I can no longer go along with this so made a choice that i will no longer be a victim to his & his fathers bullying ( no support from his dad since they enable each other ) So cut him Out of my life so cant see the baby. Im broken hearted as daily i watch my other kids get damaged by trying to help him . Am angry his dad bets with him. It seems a hopeless situation , cant talk to family friends since they both (father & son ) have lied & intimidated to cover their tracks . The rest of the family have not come to the place where they can be firm with them so enable too . having faith in my decision to say no is hard , since im the only one making this stand , so feel isolated but determined
Hi Moo. Read your post. Sounds harsh, but you have to draw the line somewhere. I am a compulsive gambler and came clean to my wife recently. I borrowed money from my mum, my wife, work colleagues and even from my 2 year-old daughter! Gambling is an awful addiction and one that I really wish I didn't have. I attend meetings every week and am determined that I will not gamble again. I know that if I do, the door to my wife and daughter will be closed.
Your ex-husband and son have to make the decision to stop gambling - you cannot do it for them. It sounds very much like you have cut all ties with your ex-husband. Please don't do the same with your son.
Sit him down and tell him that you will not fund his addiction but you will be there to support him when he decides to accept that he has a problem.
I took money from a savings account that my wife and I set up for her and I'm so ashamed but it is what we do; it's what heroin or *** addicts do. I'm not justifying it, but merely explaining that like any addiction, it has to be funded from somewhere.
Do you have contact with the mothers of your son's children? Could you not see the children through them? In terms of not telling his new partner, she above everyone needs to know that she's letting herself in for with your son: had someone told my wife, she never would have married me.
I hope that you can rebuild your relationship with your son. I hope that he accepts that there is a problem and tries to do something about it. Good luck moo1
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