Good luck try and be calm
He doesn't want to give up. If he did he'd have been receptive to discussion and willing to comply with what you need. He's proved over and over he can't be trusted. No need to feel guilty in asking for control of finances and anything else you need although from what you've said I wouldn't be holding my breath for a positive reception.Keep calm and keep the focus on what you want and need. Don't be deflected, don't be manipulated. His reaction will tell you where you stand.
Update: I spoke to hubby last night, the conversation went alot better than I imagined it would. He openly admitted that he has a problem, and that any previous discussions haven't got home about how serious it is. He knows he needs help and he's prepared to do what it takes to ensure it doesn't effect me and the kids - I'm taking charge of his finances, among other precautions. I'm hopeful that it's different this time. It feel's different. I just hope it gets better now and not worse..... thank you for all your help and advice everyone! I'll be sure to use these forums again in the future - they have been a great help and support ! X
I'm glad your conversation went better than planned and that he's agreed to let you take over the finances. At least you'll find it easier to monitor. Will he also consider going to GA or counselling?
It's a long road, but hopefully this is a positive big step forward.
Keep in touch.
It's nice to read your positivity... so apologies if this is a bit doomsday but it is rarely as easy as you taking control of his finances...
Credit Reports
Husband taking ownership but will full transparency
You tell and talk to whoever you want, not who he says you can
Actions, not words count
There's plenty more sound advice around and from far more 'qualified' people than I but once again as the compulsive gambler, I wish I had't had it so easy on any of my previous recovery attempts, it didn't feel easy at the time but I was never challenged like I have been this time
best wishes to you
Hi yellow bird be prepared for the change in mood. You have taken his 'love' away. Be wary, be suspicious, be calm. The first few days will be fine and then it starts. Don't just log off from here and think he's cured. They are the masters of deception. They're not bad people, just addicted. Good luck!
It's good it went well but be wary he's not just telling you what you want to hear. As CG says you need to see action not words and it would be very unwise to trust anything he says without seeing independent proof of it for yourself. Agree you also need access to his credit reports from every agency now and on an ongoing basis as well as control over the finances.
How's it been Yellow bird?
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
