hello,, i know this isn’t a big problem compared to others, and that i might just be overly-insecure. i have been with my bf for 4 years now, and ever since he entered uni about 6 months ago, he has been gambling with his friends almost every night, and it used to be from once a month to twice and now he gambles every single week without fail, in our uni accommodation. i have talked to him about it before and made it clear that i do not like him gambling. sure, he has won money, but he has also definitely lost… he’s excuse on why he constantly gambles is because he’s “earning money”, which i feel like is an excuse. he never ever wants to find a part time job during breaks as he says he is too “busy”… he’s used to be so caring towards me, but whenever he gambles now, for hours, he never texts me, not a single text for hours… and will only text me the next day. he will even go back on his words when he tells me he wouldn’t gamble this week etc etc, but he always gambles without fail for hours, and barely has time for me because the other days he’s busy wth other stuff… i have talked to him multiple times about this issue, and deep down i know that he’s turning into a guy that i do not like, a gambler basically… he’s addicted to it, and all he talks about is poker and other forms of gambling. i’m thinking to break up with him because it’s just affecting our relationship and he thinks it’s fine and claims it’s his social life… but i just do not like it and it’s affecting me and my happiness in this relationship. what do i do…? he’s never bad to me, he’s done nothing wrong, but it’s just his gambling addiction that is making me so unhappy everyday, feel so neglected, and just hate that he prioritises gambling over me now (that’s a proven story for another day… actions do speak louder than words… no matter how many times he says i’m his priority, he proves me otherwise..) in so lost, idk what to do because he didn’t hurt me in any way and it doesn’t seem like a justified reason to break up with him… help me pls 😭
Hi
follow your gut
you can break up with anyone for any reason. You don’t have to justify yourself or your actions.
seriously from experience, this gets worse. Your reasons are valid, don’t accept any excuses.
regardless of what he’s doing , you feel neglected and ignored.
find someone who’s interested in doing things not fooling themselves thinking they make money from gambling.
i know it sounds brutal but you are thinking this way already.
good luck
Hi. I would certainly seek some further support for people who are affected by gambling (partners, friends, family, etc) because they will probably have more wisdom than me. However have to consider the long-term effects that eventually if he continues gambling compulsively something is going to give as it only really gets worse. I know from my experience I started off with little bets and by the end was spending other people's money, getting myself into massive debts, lying and having massive mood swings. You don't want to be around when things get to that stage. If you've tried to talk it out and communicated the importance and he hasn't listened or the addiction is distorting things for him that he doesn't see it, please try find some space and also maybe speak to friends or family for advice.
Blessings to you.
He has been bitten and is at that age where it seems like straight forward income students often have a lot of disposable time so you can often find them lurking about arcades/ casinos and bookies
Because he's likely staking a pittance him and his mates have probably come up with the genius idea of trying to grind out £20-50 wins every day and turning it into a part time job
This is a very very common mindset with students gambling , crypto is another avenue some will find themselves going down
At this stage he probably doesn't have that much to lose so may win say £100 over 3 days then lose £200 in the next two in the grand scheme. of things it probably isn't causing massive financial issues because students are generally broke all the time anyway
Its when the income and stakes start to get higher you'll really start to see a problem emerge
Constantly asking to borrow money or constantly being skint will be two hallmarks of a bigger problem
If hes already going every day he's already going to be in very deep
I've been down this route and it took me until mid 20's and a 15K of debt to realise it was all a scam
If you want me brutally honest advice I would say give him the ultimatum now
" me or the gambling"
It could get a lot worse before it gets any better
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