My eldest boy, who is 25 , has just told me he thinks ( no, he knows) he has a gambling problem. He told his dad and I a few months ago that he had been on a gambling website and had lost some of his savings ( over 4 thousand pounds ! ) he was devastated and so were we . I'm a shouter but I didn't this time we all just cried and talked for a long time about his options. He said he could handle it, banned himself from the sites he was using even showed us as we were worried he would " pretend". Long story short , we thought it was enough We thought he could cope. He's an intelligent, young man with a degree and a good job, friends and family who love him dearly . Last night he came down from his room with a nose bleed and it all came out, he had lost another 4 thousand pounds. We cried we talked for hours . I don't either of us has slept . This is why I'm here, I don't know where to turn . Pleas help me to help my wonderful boy . Thanks so much . I don't know what to do
Hi
So sorry to hear your story. My Husband is an online gambler. He is also a professional with a good job but has this awful addiction.
We are only 7 days into his gamble free attempt so I can't give you lots of advice but there are people on here who can do that better than I can.
However steps you can take immediately is to phone the gamcare helpline.
If your son wants to stop then he needs to self exclude on the online sites. It's quite easy he just has to log into each account he has and go to the responsible gambling page and press self exclude. He can do this for 5 years. My husband has done that on the sites.
Also there is software you can install so that when in the house or phone if he goes on the internet it will block the gambling sites. You need to look at what software is best for your situation - it's just a case of downloading and it is free.
Next thing I did was I took all financial control - take his bank card, online bank details and change the pins and pass codes. Give him what money he needs. If he has access it's likely he will do it again until he can get help to stop.
As for stopping this as I say we are very early days in our journey but my husband has already attended 2 gamblers annonymous meetings and he finds them so helpful. He has already made contacts there and they have regularly contacted him in between meetings to spare him on and he really gets a lot of support there. There is also counselling that gamcare can arrange.
He has to want to do it himself though as all the advice I have received this week backs up the theory that they must want to quit and seek help and it is only then if he embraces all of the support that he can really get the help and stop.
You and your husband can also call gamcare for counselling for yourselves and there is also gamanon which offer support meetings for families affected by this terrible addiction. I've not been to one myself yet but I plan to do so.
Ask your son to have a read of this website and the recovery diaries and forums there are lots of people on here who give great advice and lots of examples of people who have turned their lives around who are an inspiration and offer hope to those that really want to quit.
Sorry for the long post and as I say I am only a week into this situation also but I have been offered some great advice which may also assist you now. I'm sure others will respond with other suggestions.
Good luck to you and your son.
Jennifer xxx
Hi WM
Sorry to see this. The good news is your son can stop and lead an entirely normal life albeit one with strictly no gambling of any type in it but the proviso for that is he has to want to and he then has to keep on wanting it more than he wants another bet. Unless he wants that for himself there's nothing anyone can say or do to make him stop. He's not in as deep as he could be at the moment and he has plenty of time for his finances to recover through work but he needs to be aware this is a progressive addiction and he needs to do everything it takes to arrest it now.
It would be a good idea for you and him to read up on everything you can so you can see what you're up against. Gamcare and Gamanon can offer you support and Gamcare can offer your son free counselling sessions. He should also look into GA meetings where he will find a wealth of support and advice.
In the meantime he's going to need to accept some tough measures starting with you taking control of his finances, self excluding permanently from every account he has and giving up or blocking every device he uses to gamble with. In addition don't trust anything he says without seeing proof for yourself. Gamblers are highly manipulative so you're going to need to stand by the lines you draw.
Thanks both of you . A lot of what you told me is sense like taking control of his finances and him wanting to do it. He isn't talking to me at the moment just silence. I think it's shame but I'm going to get him the help he needs. He's quite reserved so I think counselling might be a start. He has self excluded already so a start anyway. I will carry on supporting him and suggest he gives me control if his money. Thank u very much
Hi - my son was gambling a few years ago and we thought he'd stopped. We've just found out that he has been gambling again and has run up credit card bills, however he is not talking to us so we have no idea how much further he has gone into debt. He only got paid last week and it looks as though it's all gone. I'm desperately worried about him but don't want to push him over the edge so he leaves and we have no idea where he is - which has has happened before. I've got no experience of anything like this and have no idea what to do next, should we wait until he comes to us or is that unlikely ? Help
Hi Worriedmam and Jan123,
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