How do I move forward

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(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

My partner is a compulsive gambler currently 28 days without gambling, I'm am really proud of him for that, he is also attending weekly sessions.

I have always known he gambled but thought he had it under control how naive was I. I want to support him and help him through his journey I just cant seem to forgive him and move forward.

I am so hurt and angry as he has lied to me for over 3 years saying his gambling was under control. He borrowed money from a family member of mine which I only found out about a month ago which is how it all came out that his gambling is out of control.

I guess what I am asking is can we survive this as a couple and will I ever truly be able to trust him again

 
Posted : 9th June 2017 9:56 pm
Red Rock
(@red-rock)
Posts: 17
 

I only found out about my husband this week and it's the lying that hurts the most.

I don't know if the trust will ever be repaired.

I wonder if marriage counselling might be useful?

 
Posted : 9th June 2017 10:22 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Thanks for the reply Red Rock

Yes the lies are the worst hope your husband is getting help, maybe counselling is the way forward. I wish you both luck

Remember to take care of yourself

 
Posted : 10th June 2017 6:51 am
(@lethe)
Posts: 960
 

Hi

It's possible to survive as a couple but it takes 110% commitment from the gambler to doing all it takes to stop and stay stopped. They need to want it and then keep on wanting it more than the next bet for the rest of their lives. Part of that is the need for them to accept that they have blown financial trust out of the water. I handle the finances. Every asset we have is in my sole name and Mr L doesn't have and never will have unscrutinised access to the bank accounts. There are no plans for any of that to change.

Read up on the addiction and what you're up against then think hard about what you want, need and deserve from a life partner.

 
Posted : 10th June 2017 11:06 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Thanks for the reply Lethe

My partner says he is 100% committed, I want to believe him its still early days yet. Its me that cant seem to move on from all the lies, I feel our relationship has been based on lies for the last three years, we have been together 10 years and I have known him for 25 years

He is a good guy just being controlled by this disease

 
Posted : 10th June 2017 8:44 pm

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