How to pay the debt off

Hello,

Sorry to read that your daughter is having problems. I also read the forums on money saving expert and can guarantee you that the forum contributors would advise against taking out a new loan (or CC) as it does not tackle the underlying problem. I would suggest you have a look on there (debt free wannabe) and perhaps post on there too to seek financial advice and guidance.

If she can get some good advice and tackle the underlying problem of gambling then things will start to look more positive for all of you.

I'd also suggest blocking gambling transactions by signing up to Gamstop, installing Gamban and looking at options to have banks block gambling transactions.  I myself signed up to Gamstop for the maximum 5 years and have not gambled for 4 of them now and after 3 years I managed to finish paying my debt off, it's not easy but with support and determination it can be done.

I wish you all the very best.

Hi Jules,

Welcome to the forum.

I am sorry to learn of the trouble your daughter finds herself in. Equally so, I am sorry to learn of the difficulties that you also face as a concerned parent.

I will offer some advice which may come across as being a little tough. First of all, you must stop bailing your daughter out of her financial problems. As long as you fix the problem she will continue to gamble. There is so much data that backs up that statement. She has to face up to the issue of debt.

I am an addicted gambler who hasn’t gambled in over two years. I had a debt of about £8k if I recall correctly- definitely around that figure. I transferred debts to one card at zero percent over a term of 27 months. Some may have a poor credit rating and can’t do this but it worked for me.

The most important thing was making the decision that I had to stop. Everyone, including me, focuses on the debt but the most important thing is to deny yourself the ability to bet. Blocks, Gamban, removing/reducing access to cash etc all help. I just wanted to stop hurting myself. I was exhausted, beat up and ready to stop. Once stopped everything gets better. Certainly, they can’t get any worse.

At first the debt seems insurmountable and you can’t stop thinking about it but as time goes by without gambling the debt decreases, you feel better and you embark on recovery. Your daughter can recover from this and enjoy a full and fabulous life. 

My debt is just about paid off now. Eventually, it just became a figure in the background. When I quit gambling I quickly began living again albeit on a budget to begin with. I got better, the balance got lower. Every month this would happen.

I hope your daughter can face up to this. This is a chance to start again and rebuild. It will be a tremendous achievement and she will be far better for the experience. It won’t seem like it now but with time recovery happens. She has to be the one to put in the work. You cannot do it for her. You can be supportive. You can talk to her and you can be a power of strength. You can be understanding and a shoulder to cry on. Just don’t be her bank.

I wish you both happiness and success. Good luck.

RR

Hi. 

I can relate to your daughter. 

Firstly, STOP bailing her out. It will only fill her urge to gamble. 

Do not take out loans, some have ridiculously high interest rates. It can be incredibly dangerous if that goes towards gambling. Some companies are not reputable so be cautious. 

You need to make her understand that the longer she gambles, the easier it'll be for bookies to drain her profit.

The house has a big edge, they may seem friendly with the promotions but incredibly cunning too. They receive all the information they do to set up odds for various sports. 

Get an appointment with the GP, they can refer you to a therapist. 

Sign up to Gamcare and ring up Moses to self exclude from local bookies. 

Lock up her Passports and monitor her finances. No ID, NO entry to particular bookies etc. 

You must close as many doors as possible. The finances will come with time. 

Talk to her bank and ask for financial help. They also offer 'Cash cards' which are Debit cards but without the online access or contactless features so she can only go to ATMS and withdraw money. 

Best of luck. 

Tip: 

• If she ever has an urge, tell her to put that money towards bills. You can help improve her credit score by paying in advance even if she's overdrawn. 

Thanks for your replies and advice guys, the last tine I helped her was a loan rather than a gift and she has been making repayments. She has excluded herself with Gamstop and said she knows she needs help so will contact GamCare to be referred for counselling which to me is far more important than any debt.

She cant afford the monthly payments on the cards and can no longer get a loan or higher Cc to consolidate so we will help her plan and clear the highest interest ones first etc. She seems a different person now she has told us and her partner, we will help get her through this, though know it will be tough and take time.

Thanks for your support ?