Hi all,
I’m new to this type of thing and feel abit worried/nervous/upset about posting. I feel sad that I’m crossing a line and betraying trust.
I believe my partner has a gambling problem. He seems to be in massive denial too. I feel that he has opened up to me more now than ever but is still in denial. He won’t talk about having a gambling problem but more that he does gamble a lot.
I feel so alone. I’ve previously tried to speak to his family members but it doesn’t seem to help. He tells them that he doesn’t have a problem and I’m wrong. I just drove him away from me, he said he didn’t trust me and that I had crossed a line.
He also lies and hides his gambling to his family but is more open about it with me. I do feel so alone and sad with this.
Most things in our life now evolve round gambling but it’s got to be a secret to everyone else.
I don’t really know what to do anymore. He never has any money and is seriously depressed. I want to support him but my worry is that I can’t help when he won’t admit he has a problem.
I’m lost and alone. Anyone similar that could give help or advise please?
Hi @partneranon.
Thank you for coming to the forum and sharing what's been going on for you.
You deserve to access support and help for how your husbands gambling has been impacting you, and you don't need to feel ashamed for doing so.
We're here for you and you're not alone. The forum is a great place for peer support, but in the meantime, if you haven't already, please do reach out to an adviser on the Helpline on 0808 8020 133, or through our Netline to have a space to talk and offload, and get further support.
Regards,
Phoebe
Forum Admin
@forum-admin Thank you Phoebe.
I’ve tried to the helplines but don’t really have much time to call often. It is starting to really make me sad. The more I think about it and admit it myself the more it hurts.
Hi, as a problem gambler I believe there are really only 2 outcomes for you and your husband. He has a serious addiction that is probably changing him every minute until you won’t even recognise him anymore. You either have to fight to save what you have, and if that means laying down some rules, being supportive or downright giving him a choice it works differently for some. I left my daughters mum due to gambling. I had a problem and she never even tried. Ofcourse our daughter came first. But I now have another child and my current partner has put up with some serious s**t from me. She is still here and We have to work at it everyday. It changes you unfortunately and he may be different on the other side of this. But I can assure you. There is another side of it. It’s not the end of the world. Right now it feels it. But If I can make it with my problems, you both can too. Good luck. I think he will choose you btw ?
@don1993 Thank you for your response. It’s very much appreciated. At the moment it’s hard to attempt the conversation/situation because every time it becomes the topic he fully closes off. When I mention anything about gambling or gambling a bit too much he gets very irritated. I’m not sure if this is a common response or not. I know he’s struggling just as much as I am just in a different way. Thank you again for your reply.
I’ve been where you are and it’s really hard.
feeling alone, feeling silenced it’s awful.
sending you strength and love
xxxx
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