Husband has chosen to live on the streets

Thanks for anothet perspective Phoenix67. No one can truly understand until they have been there and I am having to be quite firm about this to my parents, explaining to them that the focus is on him being on the streets and it has taken away from the gambling. From their point of view they have only known a few days and haven't been lied to, stolen from or lived with him and his addiction for the last year. I understand they want to help and support and I keep explaining that I didn't really seek help last time, I kept it to myself, I carried on believing his lies and look where it got us.

He suffers from depression, he is severly depressed and because my Dad suffered from this a number of years ago, his focus is on this.

I did ring the helpline a few days ago but there is no gamcare counselling in my area unfortunately. I have put my name down for counselling in a local place - it isn't gambling specific and tbh I have reservations about counselling as I had some counselling as well as CBT last year and I didn't feel it helped me as I felt completely stupid and also found it hard to deal with the fact that I was opening myself up to a stranger but didn't know a thing about them. It's hard when trust doesn't work like that in normal circumstances, it takes time to build up. I know some people swear by it which is why I am willing to give it another go and hope I get a really good couunsellor this time but we will see.

Feeling a bit deflated today. Also finding it hard to tell people, feel like I either have to justify myself or my husband and I just want to forget about it all. I have only told a handful or people and dreading it all coming out. The rest of the family don't know and only a few friends do.

Hello Mumof3. So sorry your family are going through this. I just wanted to add that GamAnon have an online meeting on Sundays. You can find out more here:

http://gamanon.org.uk/?page_id=30

Best wishes

Forum Admin.

I'm sorry to hear that. Yes, it really sounds like he is doing this to make you feel guilty. But you'll never know unless you really see him in the streets. It's possible that he might really be doing it to punish himself as I have known someone who did something similar. Might be best to check yourself, or have someone you trust check his situation for you.

Hi mumof3

I dont know all about the ins and outs of your relationship but he may be very confused at the moment. Its probably a complex mix of self pity and confusion where he doesnt know his place or what the addiction has really done to him.

He may need medical help because it sounds like depression. In a depresssd state the streets can seem to give a sense of freedom and time to think. They dont really as its a long empty cold night. Ive been homeless in the past and I had to find somewhere well out of town where I fely secluded and more safe.

There is no shame in contacting the authorities and medical authorities. Gambling is a strong addiction and you must protect your quality of life. He must be ready to seek help and accept help.

If he is not ready for help it puts you in a very difficult situation. I dont think he is trying to play the victim so much as suffering from depression. I have suffered from depression my whole life and you are seeing the classic symptoms of how depresssion plays out.

I drove to London once just to walk the streets for 24 hours before returning to my car and doing it again when I had enough sleep.

I would see it as a cry for help so would think that you have to contact extended family and the authorities to pass on the story.

I dont see you as harsh and uncaring. He is an adult male and he will be given options to choose from

This shows the pure misery and mental illness that gambling causes. There is no addiction more deadly in the destruction it causes

Best wishes from everyone on the forum