I’m new here, not new to gambling addiction though, Iv been with my husband for over 20 years he is a great man loving father, but he has a gambling problem. Little history back when we were kids he struggled with online poker and slots, we struggled to stay afloat his mom even paying our rent sometime. He then went to Afghanistan for 2 consecutive tours (hes military) he came home with a new perspective on life. We bought a home, got married, and started a family for 13 years he quit gambling. 2 years ago we got posted and were super happy to start our life in a new place closer to my family. From that point on it’s been a downward spiral this past Oct I said enough is enough, you need to get some help do you realize we are going to lose everything. He said yes I do, and I want to stop. Went into mental health on base and said I need an addiction counsellor and until Dec 18 he stopped. Come to find out though he told the counsellor that his problem is alcohol not gambling. This time around he is saying that he doesn’t see any problem here and if we can’t pay our bills then I should get a second job. I’m now very sacred because he does not think he has a problem and I don’t know what to do!!! I love him so much we were friends since grade 5 he truly is my best friend we get along so well and enjoy being together in 20 years our only fights are gambling related.  I’d also like to add that he struggle with PTSD and continues to receive help via meds and counseling for that this also makes it hard for me as I know the PTSD definitely is a trigger for his gambling addiction.  I feel so lost but I know this will only get worse if he don’t get help now.Â
Hello BB,
Welcome to the forum, and thanks for sharing your experience.Â
I'm sure that many of the forum members will recognise your feelings of concern, regarding your partner denying that his gambling is an issue. It is good that you have tried to address it with him, and that he is getting some support for his other issues.
I wonder if you are based in Britain, and if so, might you be interested in using our services. You mention feeling lost, and maybe using support for yourself could help you to feel more clear about how you would like to take care of yourself in this situation. If you are in Britain, you can reach us on our freephone 0808 8020 133. If you are based elswhere in the world, please consider using local support in addition to using this forum.
You might also consider looking at GamAnon, the sister fellowship to GA, in case you prefer to use peer support.
Take care,
Adam.
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It takes a lot to open up about such personal struggles, and it's clear you're dealing with a lot right now. It sounds like you've been through quite the journey with your husband. From the challenges early on to the positive turn after his tours, it's a rollercoaster of emotions. I can only imagine how tough it must be, especially when dealing with the added complexity of PTSD. It's heartbreaking that the gambling issue seems to be resurfacing, and I can understand why you're feeling lost. It's tough when someone you love is struggling, and it's even tougher when they don't fully acknowledge the problem. It might be worth emphasizing the impact on the family and the potential consequences if things continue down this path. Sometimes, a wake-up call can come from the realization that the problem isn't isolated; it affects everyone involved. Remember, you're not alone in this. If you ever need to vent or chat, feel free to reach out. Wishing you strength and clarity as you navigate through this challenging time.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
