My partner has always gambled, from the lotto to scratch cards. I admit that I have bought her £10 worth of scratch cards in the past to cheer her up.
She also uses the T*****a website and has spent quite a lot over the last few years.
I recently got a £2000 bonus from work as we've had quite a good year (for a change). I was obviously over the moon with this as it would have taken care of Christmas comfortably and my 2 young daughters could have been spoiled as well as a few treats for my partner and myself.
However, the money started to disappear bit by bit, and as of today the money has all but gone.
I've been through our online bank statements and I've totted up £1550 that my partner has spent on the T*****a website in the last 5 weeks.
I confronted her today and told her that all the money had gone and where it had gone to.
Rather than being apologetic or embarrassed, she went ballistic calling me a liar, refusing to look at the evidence and storming out of the room.
She came back a little while later and threw a scrap of paper at me saying that all she had spent was £668, still refusing to look at the bank statement.
I asked her why she was so angry with me and she said that I was making her feel guilty about doing something that gave her a bit of pleasure. Totally missing the point that we have Christmas to pay for.
I really don't know how we're going to cope having just my regular wage to rely on.
She obviously won't admit to having a problem, so I'm at a bit of a loss.
I do have some similar experience as I'm a recovering alcoholic in my 5th year of sobriety.
I did wonder if I could block any future payments to T*****a from my online banking?
As you can all imagine I'm a bit lost for what to do.
Any and all advice is welcome.
Thanks for reading.
She's in denial, making it all your fault and lying to you. That added together sadly doesn't bode well.
First thing to do is stop her access to your accounts and make sure you're not inadvertently enabling the gambling by bailing her out. Once you've stemmed the financial bleeding you have time to examine whether she actually wants to stop. If she does there are things she can do which will have a near immediate effect in preventing her access to gambling. If she doesn't your choices will lie with how much if any of the hell living with an active addict brings you're prepared to tolerate bearing in mind it's a progressive addiction.
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