Just feeling like I need to tell people who understand. I can't believe what a mess my life has turned out to be. I am trying my best to keep things together but I cannot stop thinking this is all a nightmare that is never gona end. My CG husband has left and is at his dad's house (after his feel sorry for me stint living on the streets for a week) Because of the kids we still have to have v regular contact. There are now issues over how often he sees them. I want them to have a relationship but I am reluctant to overdo this at the moment because 1. he isn't actively seeking any help for his addiction so I don't believe he is being the best dad he can be. And 2. I feel I need time to adjust to living and raising 3 kids on my own. I need to try and sort my s**t out by myself becaise ultimately that's how things are ending up.
I am having to rely on my parents more which makes me feel like a child myself and like I can't manage on my own. They are being moody with me esp because kids are playing up so that is annoying them. But at the same time there are some things I cannot do by myself and need their help with.
I have no idea how things will work out for us, I am under no illusions of this life long addiction and that what is getting me down...because I know that this could be it. A broken family. Last thing I ever wanted for my children. My son especially has suffered enough with his illness and what he went through. He has more to face in the future, which is very uncertain. And now this.
I have some great friends but the reaction from some of them isn't exactly supportive or else it is overly supportive as in every thing will be ok, you will get through this, there is sunshine etc etc' I am sorry but that just isn't the reality of my situation. Or else friends who have split from their partners for a different reason like growing apart.....they understand a bit but it just isn't the same. Their kids will still have a normal Dad even if their parents are split up.
And no matte what, depsite my good friends being able to listen to me, they still go back to their lives. Ultimately I am alone.
This is my first time on a forum. Im so Sorry for your situation.it reminds me so much of the pain i caused and still do sometimes Good people can't help to stop doing bad things to try to forget there guilt.
Hi,
Sorry to hear it. Whichever choice is very difficult, it might help to remind yourself of the harm that staying together whilst he uses causes to you and your children. Separating will distress the children but it still is the least harmful option and the harm is being caused by his gambling and not your thought out and last resort response. You're doing what you need to do to help yourself, but you've said along that your parents don't really get it.
Would advise GamAnon, all there have been there and do understand.
CW
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
