Hey everyone, I hope you're all okay and surviving the hellscape that is loving a gambling addict.
I'm in love with a gambling addict. I felt like our relationship was The One. He was kind, funny, and he was amazing with my own mental health.
Over the last few months I found out he'd been continually stealing from me, right from when he moved in with me. He moved out when I realised, shortly followed by trying to take his own life right by our home. I chose to support his recovery, and was even supportive when he relapsed back into gambling.
We were exclusive. He told me often that he loved me and he'd do anything to make it work. He asked me a week before what kind of engagement ring I would like.
Then this week, I saw a message to his phone from someone he'd saved under my name - her picture made clear it wasn't me. He's been cheating on me, either emotionally or physically. I don't know, and to be honest either is as bad as the other.
He has been joining PeerAid groups and doing counselling for his addiction. I'm worried this will only address the symptom of gambling, and not the incessant lies. I fear he's maybe even hiding the truth from his therapists and peers so he doesn't have to address everything.
Is this a common problem for addicts? Anyone else had a similar addict/cheat experience??? Any advice?
I miss the man I fell in love with.
Hi Minnie89
the best advice I can give you is to put yourself first. You are in a situation where you can’t trust a word he says.
you need to ask yourself why do you want this? Why are you willing to accept this? Living with an active gambler is hell. You have to financially secure yourself, keep all valuables under lock and key. You need to see his credit reports to see his debts and make sure you’re not dragged into his mess.
protect yourself emotionally as well. This is lifelong, we live day to day, you need to detach.
the man you fell in love with is the liar and the chest you talk of
Hi Minnie89 hope you are well gambling is a illness hard to beat so people attend to hide stuff and spend other money they don't have and lie about it they also use other woman for the money and I think the lassie he cheated with give him money as well you do anything to have a gamble it a illness unfortunately hope you are okay this is my advice to you as a male.
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