Negative influences from friends

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I’m pleased to say that my boyfriend is in gambling recovering and hasn’t gambled in almost 6 months with his hard work, support from family, and support from therapy. Unfortunately, his friends have not been supportive. They are a ‘laddish’ group who enjoy gambling, drinking, and dabbling with substances, often on a weekly basis. My boyfriend took a step back from that lifestyle when the gambling problem was found out and he admitted that he needs to limit his exposure to situations that could potentially lead to him losing control. When the gambling issues came to light, we were just about to sign a mortgage and buy our first property together. It was a stressful and traumatic time for both of us but I decided to stand by him. Since he’s taken a step back from his friends they’ve branded me as controlling, despite knowing about the gambling. I feel targeted and ostracised and it’s making an already difficult situation almost unbearable. My boyfriend is so supportive and has already accepted that these people are not his friends, but it’s very difficult to watch my boyfriend struggle through without the support of people who should be there lifting him up. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with stubborn people who won’t accept that gambling addiction is a real issue that can ruin lives and that what we do for our loved ones is not controlling, but infant building a safe environment for them to limit their risk of falling back into gambling? 

Posted : 22nd February 2024 1:57 pm
Forum admin
Posts: 5964

Hello rm

Thanks for sharing this.

It’s amazing to hear how well your boyfriend is doing and that his hard work, along with your support, has meant he’s now almost six months gamble-free. However, it sounds very hard to be experiencing further stress when you have been through so much already.

It sounds incredibly upsetting to feel your boyfriend isn’t being supported by his friends and I can hear how much impact their behaviour is having on you. It also sounds very frustrating to feel like others don’t understand how serious gambling harms can be and that you are supporting your boyfriend as best you can. We have information on our website which might help you to talk through with your boyfriend’s friends how gambling can affect someone’s life.

We’re also here to support you and give you the chance to talk through everything in confidence. If you’d like to chat to us, you can get in touch with our Helpline team on 0808 8020 133 and/or our 1:1 Livechat (which are both open 24 hours every day).

There’s a good, supportive community on here so hopefully you can both find others who will understand what you’re going through without any judgement. You may find our chatrooms helpful too – you can read more about them here.

Wishing you and your boyfriend all the best and well done again for being there for him through what sounds like such a stressful time.


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Posted : 28th February 2024 6:10 pm

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