Recent partner confession

My long term partner has recently confessed to not paying our joint household bills due to gambling. He had informed me when we first started seeing each other that he had a problem in the past and i have caught in the past 5 years the odd site on phonestly, however i clearly didn’t understand the true ‘illness’ and extent to which he has been suffering. Being so mature and wise, I put it down to stupidity as how can someone make those decisions to put our family at risk? 

We have a 5 year old son (from his past relationship) to which my partner has an extremely unmanageable/non-existing co-parenting relationship with the mother due to him being unloyal and amongst other reasons. She threatens my partner with anything she can, for example if you don’t do this then you’re just not getting to see * anymore. We have had extensive conversations/arguements about their relationship as it turns out he ends up giving her what she wants/asks for in order for us to see our little boy. We see our boy 3/14 days a fortnight to which we treasure every single minute as it is such a treasure as all we think/talk/dream about is him. he is our world. He had initially consulted legal advice but as expected nothing can be done quickly (or cheaply). He/we simply don’t have the funds to fight hence why i believe he worships every word his ex says. 

As you can imagine the insecurity of their relationship is/was primarily (what i thought) is the trigger to all these decisions. My partner is around £2.5k in debt to a lawyer office (now sheriff court) in legal fees. He vulnerably confessed to me a few weeks back that he has blown all of his (and my own contributions i send each month for household bills) on gambling. Rent in arrears, council tax not paid, gas and energy bills unpaid (key concerns right not). I was heartbroken and felt betrayed that he had done this to me and our family and put our home at risk. 

For that month i had to ask my mum to help out to buy us household essentials (food, washing up). 

Since he confessed to this i have understandably felt no trust, compassion towards the reality. 

As approaching the end of month, i felt uneasy to address how we are going to monitor our household bills are paid moving forward. He had stated last month when i bailed him out for our household arrears(final notice being served) last month that i should stop sending my contributions in order for him to pay me back. Tensions had been building up as i told him i feel uneasy and uncomfortable in our own home as letters/officers were coming to the door to which his immediate response was go into office or work from your parents which clearly isn’t the correct solution but he poses it is all he/I can do at this moment. He called me rashly from work the following morning aploigising but as a result of me not contributing this month he has left himself with no money/petrol/food supplies (on pay day) as he had to pay extra for other debts (rent/gas who knows really). and that the rent was still partially outstanding. I told him we could talk about his tonight when. he got in from work.

That evening he came home all guns blazing at what i can only assume upset from an insecurity from his ex at a decision i had made sending our boy to school that day. I was calm, answered with my reasoning for the decision and didn’t address the attitude he had, stating i don’t want to talk about this right now as i knew he wasn’t in the correct mindset, he was nasty, told me to not come back to our house. i stayed at my parents that night, heartbreaking at how hurt i could see he is, it was like a different person i did not know. 

Upon reflection, i have researched and read forum posts to which i now see this problem as a disease as opposed to selfish decision. I have asked him if he is alright, to which the initial reaction was no you were out of order removed link I know/hope but unable how to address that he is not himself at the moment, i want him to know that i want to support him, he is so angry, frustrated and hurt right now. 

i love and miss him like crazy when i am not with him and clearly none of-stop worrying given his current state. 

Please could i get some advice?