so, as some of you will know my oh hit rock bottom at the weekend. I had control of his finances but he started up again and demanded his last £370 from my account. He threatened me with violence if I didn’t hand it over. We spent all weekend arguing and eventually on Monday I handed it over. He left spent the night god knows where and spent the money. Tuesday he rings me at work to ask to come home. I said yes but wasn’t giving him a key whilst I wasn’t there. He turns up full of remourse ringing his dr and councillor but no contact with Gamcare or ga. this week has been up and down so many emotions involved. Last night I installed blocking apps on his phone and my iPad. He’s not happy. He had apparently spoken to work to get his pay into a new account I control but when I spoke to them tonight they haven’t spoken to him. He is also shady about me driving around local bookies with him at the weekend to self exclude. Big thing for me they are dirty smelly places I don’t want to be associated with and do would hate to be seen in one! I’m guessing this isn’t rock bottom everyone talks about but how do I know when he’s there? Do I cut my losses now and leave? I don’t want to as I love him! But I’m backed into a corner and will not be abused again!
Anniej have you got help for yourself? Your thread is very contradictory. You say he threatened violence, you say you won't be abused again, you say he left, you let him come back. You say he's backed you into a corner. If you don't want to be abused again don't let him come back. You can't save him, can't fix him, can't stop him. You can only help, fix, save yourself. There is no understanding. There is support if he's actively seeking help. GA, counselling, handing over finance. Not just one of these things, all of them. He should be doing this not you. You do it for him, he'll continue. My husband used to use someone else's account at work, have a bet with a mate, use his lunch money, sold his watch. The list is endless. They will gamble if they want to, forcing them to stop, doing stuff for them only makes them more secretive. Why are you doing this for him? You need to look after yourself, find out why you want this? This is not healthy. Call gamcare, just talk. Get to a gamanon meeting. Anything that helps you get strong and see what's really going on.
Thank you merry go round. I’m waiting on a counselling appointment but GamAnon don’t have a meeting near me so I’m kind of in limbo at the moment. I’m just sick of all this and it cannot continue for long for the sake of my health. He keeps telling me he will stop and I’m just getting bored of the lies now. Stupidly I missed him when he left and worried about him all night but I do agree with you at some point I need to put my big girl pants on and deal with this myself
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
