She'll probably flummox the police

& yes, blocked her from Facebook, opened up another account messaged me from there, same with phone, come around to my house shouting up at me to let her in. No, no threats just a bit of trivial name calling. Anyone else have this?

Dear @Ch123, 

Thank you for posting on the forum this evening.

I'm sorry to hear what's been happening with your friend, it can be really difficult trying to support someone with a gambling addiction and it is important you take the time to look after yourself and do what is best for you too. It does sound as though her actions are having a big affect on you. 

You do have some options moving forward including contacting the police to report the harassment and abuse you are experiencing, in addition to this if you do feel unsafe at any point please contact the emergency services. 

Please know we are here to support those affected by others gambling too, our advisors are available 24 hours a day on the helpline on 0808 8020 133 or via live chat. Do get in contact and we can talk everything through and look at all of the support available to you. 

Wishing you all the best, 

Sophie C 

Forum Admin

She's not a good friend so ditch her. Block her and she will eventually go away. She is feeding off manipulating you. I'm guessing you either half enjoy it or you are scared of her. Either way find the courage to walk away.

Thank you for the replies. I may go to the police because I think she's known to them, & can deal with her.

Yes, I do enjoy her company at times. At Christmas Day & New Year's Eve I spent 7-8 hours both days at her flat, partly because no-one else would, partly because she was given notice to leave the flat so she knew she'd be out of sight/out of mind with me if she didn't find a place close (the flat she was in is 3 minutes walk away), so made me meals to keep her in my mind & me wanting to continue our good friendship going! I wanted to leave after 2 hours on both days because I knew it was a sham, but she kept me there. She's in temporary accommodation now.

I am quite scared. She once chased a man down the road with a couple of hammers who reported her for fraud. She photographed his card. She punched woman in the face as well. Nothing became of all three incidents, but you'd think it'd be on police record.

Her brother & sister-in-law are caring for her young daughter. She hasn't been allowed to see her for 10 months now, but that doesn't stop her behaviour.

I did answer her call today after many missed calls from an unknown number, I knew it was her. She didn't seem to make much sense. She said that she has to pay £200 for the removal & disposal of the damaged washing machine, fridge/freezer & bed in her ex-flat, what all 3? What will happen if she doesn't? I didn't see any damage when I was last there. I didn't give her any money, I have for stories which I didn't believe before, but that was bizarre.

I'm partly writing this because her behaviour isn't what I'm used to, partly because she's still fresh in my mind, and partly because will she ever change? Say sorry, start making an effort to repair friendships/relationships, have a good life.

Mainly though because she will end up dead if she carries on. Wasting away lack of nutrition or suicide. There have been men & women who have cared & tried, but disappear off the radar, like I will too one day.

I'm not sure if there's any remedy for her situation, I'm trying to think of something to permanently switch on a light bulb moment in her head, or am I thinking too much? Do I care too much, considering she's not my responsibility & I'm not the father of her daughter. 

One thing I did learn is to never give a gambler money, & don't adopt a passive/aggressive attitude about it. I mean give in to the money demands until it gets too much, until you snap at them, an apology, small demands for money turns into a lot, the cycle continues. No money, be assertive.

Don't give any money over to gambling addicts mate, it only ever ends up in one place. 

I help people out financially, but i make sure they get the goods - if someone needs fuel for their car or food in the cupboards, i will take them shopping and buy them what they need, but won't hand over cash as it just supports the vicious cycle. 

CH123 - Seems like she is defo trying to manipulate you. I don't know how 'deep' your relationship goes, but it seems clear that she definitely sees you as someone she can use to lean on - either for emotional support or money.

It's clear you have come to the conclusion that she is toxic. I don't think the Police is the right way forward - unless she threatens you or attacks. She's trying to rinse you, so you need strategies to stop that. Most obvious is ignore and if you can't ignore just tell her you're skint - over and over again until she gets the message. 

You cannot be responsible in any way for her well being. You've been kind, but this sort of person is out of control and she will only drag you down with her. It's possible she will try and change, but sounds like a total narcissist. 

PS - councils collect damaged white goods for free. You just call and make an appointment to leave them and they collect....for nothing.