Walking away

your post is interesting and i dont feel theres a right or wrong answer. u walk away when uv had enough and the love is not there anymore, or the gambler doesnt want help. things are the opposite with me and my now ex partner. he couldnt forgive me for my gambling after i stole from his account. but instead of walking away himself, he stayed and bullied and belittled me for a long long time. i stayed bcos i felt i deserved it, and i even continued to gamble. hes the father of my kids and i still love him but i am finally walking away myself. i cant recover living in this environment and its not fair on my kids. i dont think there is any right or wrong answer. u do what makes you happy and know yourself when u have had enough x

I'm new to this having found out that my wife is a cg a couple of days ago. I'm sure you've done the right thing. It's clearly a carefully considered action and not a rash reaction made out of anger. You can't support someone whilst they continually sabotage everything without remorse or sincerely wanting to stop. I don't think that you can liken it to a terminal disease, despite the fact that nobody wants to be a cg. I can't really say why though. Maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time myself- how do you put yourself in the mind of someone who acts completely irrationally?

i dont think u can mr unaware and u will ur yourself even trying. as a compulsive gambler i cant explain it myself. but iv had a long journey which started with denial, then a fear of stopping and now i will take any help i can get. my mind has been taken over and i literally cannot control it. i want to change. i want to stop. until a gambler reaches that point you will never be able to help them apart from by removing all finances and opportunity x

So I am having a bad day today... I have recently come back from a holiday (I was seeing it as the start of a new chapter), and met up with my husband. It just felt so weird - he felt like a stranger, 'someone I used to know'. I am just feeling so sad about what has happened to us. When I look at our wedding photos and we had our lives ahead of us, and here we are now, divorce on the horizon. Maybe I am just going through the grieving process.... Anyway, thanks for listening x

From what I have seen, grief is the only thing I can relate it too, but its worse somehow because you dont have the finality of that person actually being gone.

The holiday was a new beginning, your just going to have to have quite a few new beginnings over the coming months i suppose?

Good to hear from you, I do wonder how you are getting on.

So, there have been a lot of 'am I doing the right thing?' questions going around my head recently (in calling it a day with my husband). I arrived home tonight to find a bank statement that had been sent to mine by mistake (I won't bore you with the details as to how). Anyway, of course I know it's wrong, but I opened it as I just kind of need to know what's going on / confirmation that I am doing the right thing. So, over the period of four days, a total of £2000 has been lost in the bookies (which he can ill afford). Nothing comes as a surprise to me any more. It's just one condition that I will never understand...

Oh you and me both orchid. I feel like shaking my CG by the shoulders and shouting - why the hell do you repeat the same mistake over and over? It is utter madness. Well I think you have the answer to your question. ( I would have opened it too)! Hope that at least confirms your decision for you.

Einstein's definition of insanity is to keep repeating the same process expecting a different result. It is insane.

I can open any post I want to. It has to be that way.

As a recovering CG, I would totally agree with Pangolin's assessment on this. Honesty and openness are 2 vital tools that a recovering gambler must be willing to use. It is good for us as we have a measure of accountabilty, and it gives some peace of mind for partners and family.

This frase of wal1957 says everything. Lets keep saying that to our selfs: "Stay with the CG, knowing that if he continues to gamble, your life will be a life of misery. OR Choose to leave him to what he wants to do with his life, gamble away any possibility of happiness." I am in your situation too. I will walk away too. And even though my husbent try so much to make me feel guilty. I have made the same question you have written here. A sick person, doesen`t have the proud a CG person have and they do care about their family or if they r doing any bad to them. But they dont know any limit. So I dont want to feel any guilty, you shuldn`t too.