Hi,
Theres probably no right place to start with a post on this matter. I'm not really sure what i want to get out of it. It's certainly not sympathy. I began gambling during my first year of university. I remember going into the bookmakers and looking clueless at what all the fractional odds meant. Fast forward 5 years, over 40 payday loans and thousands upon thousands lost to bookmakers and here i am writing this post. I have in the past attended GA meetings and had councilling sessions - both with thanks to my loving family and friends that have tried to help me overcome this addiction.
The worst part of this addiction is that it's totally self-induced. I have no one else to blame. No one but myself went out and worked long, gruelling minimum wage shifts only to spend it all on football matches on teams i'd never even heard of. When i wake up the first thing i think about is gambling and my last thought before i go to sleep is when my next bet will be. I have lost money, friends/family and most importantly myself throughout this process. As everyone knows, addiction is never as easy as just stopping off ones own accord. It takes will power and then some. Something i'm clearly lacking. After a big loss i'll convince myself over the next few hours to never gamble again. The hurt and pain voluntarily put inside of me is something i was determined to never feel again towards gambling. The next day these feelings would all but dissapear. It would feel like a clean slate and that i'd never gambled before... maybe today was the day for my big win? It never came.
I have gotten myself into such a financial mess and have lost all sense of the worth and value money has in today's world. I suppose in some sense my age is the best thing about this problem. I have read other people have lost entire pensions and savings. I have no family to support and no rent as of yet to pay. I am lucky enough to have had the opportunity to go to university yet my own selfish actions has put this as a backdrop in my life and gambling. I know theres many techniques, tricks and apps people use to help prevent them from gambling. Yet my fear is and as i have seen whenever i want to gamble i will find a way. I have registered accounts on more than 100+ gambling websites. After self excluding myself on one website the next day i would desperately search for another website and signed up in minutes.
Thanks to anyone who's read this.
I hope this is the first genuine step towards change in my life.
Lewis
Hi Lewis,
You are right, if we want to gamble we will find a way but the barriers are there to make it difficult. You can self exclude with gamstop.com and this will mean you will no longer be able to sign up with new sites also.
Hello Lewis,
Thank you for your post. It was refreshing to read an honest account of your experiences. Many can empathise. Please continue to share, to use this Forum to off-load without judgement. We dont have a crystal ball, but what your experiences suggest is that nothing is going to change until you change something however small, even an acknowledgment that you've lost the plot can be a turning point. So, good for you. Keep going.
Forum Admin
Thankyou for the kind comments guys 🙂
Hi lewis
First of all mate, you’ve made a huge step coming on here! It’s taken me 2-3 years and a few relapses to admit to myself I can’t win back the loses. I’d reccomend gamstop straight away , you’ll not be able to gamble online and it’s really helped me massively.
You seem to have addressed this early enough on in life so well done on realising you have a problem, to put it into context I’m 29 with two kids and racked up 20k worth of debt due to online blackjack. I’m lucky enough to have a family who I reached out to who are very understanding and loving. My advice would be to speak to somebody close to you and get it off your chest. It’ll be hard but honestly you’ll feel so much better for it.
just reading this forum helps me when I’m in need of inspiration.
all the best mate, I hope you get the help you need
Hi Lewis,
You have taken the first step, so be proud of yourself. Remember never to put the first bet on - that’s what I have to remember too. If you don’t gamble things will get better. If you do then things will get worse. One day at a time brother.
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