30 years Gambling.... Now Stopping!! Got too, Need Support

Keep it up Carl, it’s very hard to stop gambling especially when you’ve lost so much and become accustomed to it for so long, but it’ll get better as you go. Keep telling yourself how repulsive gambling is. I gambled for nearly 18 years. I used to go to the bookies when I was 16 and lied about my age and I’m 34 now, lost my house, relationship and countless thousands. Ive promised myself total abstinence from gambling. No going back.

Hi Carl

Have you considered talking to payplan about taking out a repayment plan or Iva? Either of those would keep the monkey of the back so to speak. It’s also a good way of paying back what you owe and having an end date for your debts.

We all suffer the feeling of being embarrassed to tell anyone but that’s addictions trump card. Keeping secrets will have you going round in circles for many years to come. Recovery needs honesty to work.

It’s a crazy world where we believe repeating the same mistakes over and over will bring about a different result . It won’t

Continuing to gamble will only turn the screw even tighter.

Apart from the weight of debt what are you going to do to make sure you don’t gamble anymore?

Thank you both for your support and comments it feels good that people who have been through the same issues are there for support. Payplan, how embarssing but I set this up 3 years ago who were very supportive and after a few months never kept up the payments due to gambling. I have applied for counsling as I know I have a seriuos issue but I also know they are going to want me to expose this secret to my family.

This will be the hardest thing I will have ever done, I have been in this position once before and was told this was my final chance and my partner of 14 years and my 8 year old son will leave for good. I got caught gambling, this time I will be confessing thats the only small thing going in my favour.

First day over still GF, its a good start....

Good luck I'm 44 female and at rock bottom, every penny spent cannot keep getting bailed out even when I have won I just put it back, then feel desperate ect. Borrowed off my kids really sad I'm their mum, I should be helping them them out. First time I actually made an effort to seek help, after 15yrs bout time. Hope you succeed, we know it's not easy and it's too easy to do online.

Hi carl and welcome, I wish u all the success make sure you get all the blocks in place to help stop u gambling I find that after a couple of days / weeks these blocks are crucial. Perhaps make access to money limited. Good luck

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Hi carl

Although you’ve previously had a plan before hand don’t let that stop you doing another one even if it’s with another company. At the very least it will be peace of mind

Many Thanks, I could go on about lending then struggling to pay back I know exactly were your coming from.

Kids, paydayloans (don't even think I can get one of them now).

I have to suceed... for me and my family but for the first time in 30 years I can see a glimmer of hope.

But we all know that can change in a blink of an eye.

I think on this forum when I admit all I have done and no secrets I can move forward.. I can't believe I manage a large team in a manufacturing industry.and also work with these secrets,, it's extremley hard

Hello Carl, have you tried stopping in the past? If so, how many times and what did you do to try and stop? I ask because if you have tried to stop many times but it has never managed to stick it is time to try something else. Have you stuck to a 12 step program or seen a counsellor for some CBT maybe or tried One day at a time recovery? We all know we shouldn't gamble and the money could be put to much better use and that the bookies make a flaming fortune but knowing all this isn't enough. Is it time to go deeper maybe and look inside yourself for underlying problems for which the gambling only serves as a temporary expensive scratch to a traumatic itch? 30 years stress is a long time mate and you deserve better for you and your family.

3rd day GF !

Thanks to everyone for their support, temptation was ok today but no money available, my test will be Friday when money will be going into my current account. I do believe there is something underlying, I know recently I have been worse with added stress at work and unknowingly probably see gambling as a release. The comment sums up everything for me to suceed '30 years stress is a long time mate and you deserve better for you and your family'

Thanks for all your support and I agree I need counseling, 30 years is a long time..

Told my story several times on here before, so sorry if it sounds like a broken record.

I gambled heavily for 25 years, until I was 38. No money to my name. No hope of retiring until in my 70s if I was lucky.

I'm now 47 and looking to retire at around 55.

I too have always had a decent paying job, but gambling meant that I had no house and no savings and just a lot of debt to my name.

I decided with a few others on another forum to quit for good.

Firstly I self excluded everywhere I could.

Next I looked at everything I owed. It was a harsh reality check. I then looked at my previous spending and worked out my gambling each month, another harsh reality check.

My one saying to a gambler in debt, is if you've money to gamble you've money to clear debt.

On payday rather than gamble I looked at reducing my debt. I looked at how much I normally gambled and immediately put it to debt.

If you have lots of debt clear some smaller ones first. One less debt to worry about and it's a nice early achievement to get on the recovery road.

Try to leave as much as you need for everything bar gambling for the month.

I would also look to getting cards out of harms way and even if you can't tell those closest to you, perhaps you have someone else who you can confide in.

Finally do what you need to do to keep focused, including regular posting here and set up a diary.

Steve,

Thanks for all the advice it's amazing how we can all relate to each other.

I know tomorrow is my challange, I am now gamble free for my 4th day and I do have a couple of small debts I can clear unfortunatley all the rest are large. I am trying to play catch up and have now created a spreadsheet of who and what I owe. But the embarassing thing is I know there are other debts from many years ago. The only way I will know is when I receive a letter. Another old issue of mine not opening letters.

I'm feeling good but the back of mind is tomorrow, I need to be strong and have decided to take my son to see father Christmas so I don't let him down....

As you can see I have not commented since 14th December.

The 15th, 10 days before Christmas I relapsed and wasted ridicuolous amount of money over Christmas and January (thousands).

I have lent money don't know when I can pay it back, I have got to stop.!

I know I have a serious problem but I can't stop, just can't.

I have recieved information to receive counseling but too scared to call. (i don't know why)

I would like to say this will be my first day not gambling but know deep down I'm going to struggle,,, I need to stop.

Hi Carl

I am now 450 days gambling free after wasting the best part of 70K. In that year my debt is now 48k and im hoping my next summer to be completely debt free.

Im only telling you this because if you look back over my diary i realised i had loads of relapses, at times i felt beyond hopeless. However its not- its very difficult to go cold turkey but you have to look for the positives, every relapse has a meaning- as ridiculous as it sounds fail forward another words learn from it- turn it into something positive.

You can do this! I have faith! Believe in yourself

Hi Colt11,

I'm going to read your diary which I'm now going to create one myself.

Well done 450 days gamble free, I'm now 2 days..

But this time I'm getting help and they phoned today which I have 12 free sesions.

Something is causing me to gamble, which is causing so much debt the pain it's causing can kill..

I need to find and believe in myself,,, Thanks

Counseling I need to find myself for me and my amazing family....

(It makes me sick when they don't know whats going on and what they could have, I don't always mean financially but me back)