Hi,
Managed 4 months clean. Like an fool i though i could make a few quid off the bitcoin hype it didnt even cross my mind it was essentially gambling, anyway to cut a long story short i ended up £150 down on bitcoin and it ignited the fuse in me. Now myself i £4500 down playing roulette and betting on football, i can not believe how much of a good place i was to been rock bottom in the space of 2 weeks. I have had the big wins in the past and i think that makes me believe another is around the corner. In my 4 month period stopping gambling i actually developed anxiety and some depression as i believe taking the gambling away led to this. I am still in the process of Counceling with gamcare who have been brilliant! And really changed my mind set in them 4 months. Also i went onto meds to help my anxiety and i had this under control. Just back to square one again and it feels hopeless. I feel like i am chasing the buzz and not the money most of the time! The feeling of anticipation and excitement that gambling creates is unreal. But like any drug over time so destructive. I am lucky i am not in debt and have just enough to cover an upcoming stag holiday. I just need to stay focused i know that no amount of money a bookies or roulette will ever change anything for me, i have had 10k win and a 6k win and i said this is it! Time to stop both times but never did. The high of a big win is the nail in the coffin for a problem gambler like me. Sorry for rambling on i just need to refocus and go again!
Chin up. I go through the same, no matter what I win it’s not enough. If I won the lottery it still wouldn’t be enough..that’s the addiction and there is no happiness to be had from it.
Thanks for the post. A lot of us can relate. Just goes to show the fight is never over.
Sorry to hear that pal. Yeah I've had that feeling g before when you just want to turn back the clock . You think all the time of a few days ago when you had the money and things you could have done to stop yourself losing it . Unfortunately it's gone now and although you'll feel c**P at moment you do know that every day that passes is a day you'll feel a bit better . Tell yourself at least you won't ever feel like this again so it's all positive from now on . Don't give up because no matter how bad you feel , you will make it even worse by gambling again .
how did you "end up £150 down on bitcoin"? i think by even saying that, you were looking at bitcoin as a gamble already, rather than an investment, and you can't blame it for lighting the fuse - you would've found something else to put your money in.
I agree with you on the "never enough" part. 5ks, 10ks, 100ks.. for me (and it sounds like you too) money becomes irrelevant. it's the dopamine release that we want, and if you don't get it then yeah, you'll probably end up pretty depressed.
Like you said, count yourself lucky you've got enough to enjoy the upcoming stag and march on gamble free bud.
Hi,
Most of us will have relapse - I was GF for 6 months , then one night just had an urge to gamble - starting deposit 500 - ended up losing 20k at the end of that night. Was money I had but feel sick with the thought of what I could have spent that money on. I’m feeling like you - depressed with the thought that I won’t get that high elsewhere of winning. I guess we need to find what works for us, and figure out how we can replace gambling with something positive - even if it costs money, I’m pretty sure I can find a hobby that will cost less that 20k a night!
I find that I enjoy winning more when I’m losing for some reason so agree the amount will never be enough - it’s the high and lows that give me the feeling - obviously feel low when you come out losing but even if you win,you will always go back for that feeling....so forgive me of my rambling - guess what I’m trying to say is find something to keep you occupied instead if gambling.
Good luck
Yes my anxiety heightened once I stopped, I have never used gambling as an escape. Give yourself a pat on the back for the 4.5 months and larch forward. The most I abstained for is 100 days.
Hi RobL. I totally understand where you are at the moment. I lost a similar amount 2 weeks ago having lost and won back funds over the period of a few months. I relapsed before Christmas after 18months gamble free. Like many I didn't choose to come back here until AFTER I had a disastrous day. The money is irrelevant because like you say nothing is ever enough. Gambling is an escape from something - most likely it's another part of your life causing the anxiety. In any shape or form gambling helps mask it so when we stop all the issues come bubbling up. Take it slow, dont' try to tackle everything in one go. Get the blocks in place and start one day at a time again. We need to stop the chasing, it's the good old wheel of misfortune.
Good luck on your recovery.
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