68 days but its hit me like a truck

Sorry to hear that but well done for not following it through I’ve only been gamble free since 29th July but I still get urge’s the only way I can describe it is that I feel really hungry I would go to the fridge and eat anything urges are a lot less often I go for a walk or take myself off to bed to take myself away from the situation 68 days is fantastic don’t throw it all away hope that helps also go onto the forum here every night 8-9 really helps people with similar situation’s 

@helpme34 To follow on to the previous comment, I’m now over 5 years bet free and still get urges. They are fairly fleeting and I’ve got a lot of experience to help myself. 
I’m obviously going to mention Gamblers anonymous as my go to place but there are a couple of practical blocks which help. Firstly Gamstop to make going online harder. Secondly I have a gambling block on my bank account which takes 24 or 48 hours to unblock, time with which I can reach out for help or support.

One final observation. You said your partner doesn’t know. Why not? Keeping a secret like this only makes things harder for you. Secrets breed deceit which can lead you back to gambling. Hope you find the strength to help yourself.

Chris

Thank you so much for your replies. 

@chris.UK I have now put blocks on my card so I'm pretty sure I couldn't gamble now even if I wanted to which is really positive.

I have not told my partner mainly because I am scared of the reaction I'm going to get. Secondly because I feel that I must try to sort this out myself but maybe that's just another excuse. 

@helpme34 I understand being scared of the reaction. I was and a lot of people here say they were scared of telling someone for fear of the outcome. 
All I can say from a selfish point of view is it’s a relief to share your secret and the majority of partners are supportive. 
Honesty is something that we weren’t really good at when in active addiction but that kept us from getting help. If you can trust that honesty will help you please consider being honest with your partner. 
Chris.

Posted by: @helpme34

I've been gam free for 68 days after putting gamstop in place for the second time. This time for 5 years. Things had been going well and some days I didn't even think about gambling. Felt good to have money in my account but last night my partner was watching football (he doesn't know) and the urge to bet on the game was so strong. I'd got through games in the world cup fine but last night was different.  I've gambled for 5 years and lost 80k. I knew last night if I bet I'd win and I would have been right. Trouble is I wouldn't have stopped and then I would lose. 

This morning I've been searching for non gamstop sites. Even signed up and got to the page to deposit mo ey and managed to stop. Immediately transfered the money I was about to gamble into my payday loan debt to pay some of the late off instead. I need to stay strong but this is the first time I have really had that urge, nearly uncontrollable to gamble. Scared me a bit tbh. I hope I'll get free of this. Thanks for reading 

If you EVER get the urge to gamble again, go to the friends and family board here

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/family-friends/

Read some of the stories of how gambling is obliterating families and relationships. Reading the stories of others is a wakeup call that banishes all gambling thoughts from your head in an instant. 

Rare now that I think about gambling, but if I do, I spend time on that Friends and Family board and the reality strikes, pulling me back into keeping gamble free. It's really works. Shame that it's due to others misfortunes I know, but its a surefire way to keep those thoughts at bay and it works for me.