A little too late

Hi there Anthony my son is the same age as you, he also has a gambling problem. I found out in November the reason my son always seemed to have no money, why car payments weren't getting paid and why pay day lenders letters were coming through the post! ... Yes all due to gambling, horses mainly, online and in betting shops. Started 3 yr ago with the odd bet then progressed until where it was £1200 for the month of November. Since then things have got better, I am now a named person on his bank accounts, I can transfer money in and out of his account which I do. I know it is hard for you and at your age you dont want anyone looking after your money but it does work, so if you can get your parents to support you in this way that is a good start. I would get in touch with step change regarding your finances, a lot of people on here have used them. They will aim to consolidate all you owe into one monthly affordable payment. Also self exclude yourself from everywhere you use. Give gamcare a phone call to see how they can help you, they offer counselling. It is good your family are willing to help you out, it is very difficult for them also. I was really upset when I found out about my son and waded in trying to fix everything! He still gambles maybe £20 -£30 every 10 days, this is not ideal but it is progress. His bills get paid on time, most of his debt is paid off, he is able enjoy himself in other ways with his hard earned wages, he can save money and is enjoying life again. For now he is not ready to totally abstain, I said from the beginning to promise to 'never' do something again is a big thing, I would far rather him do this than tell me he is in recovery and then feel like he is failing every time he has a bet. I will probably get slated for this reply but every one is different on here, in not naieve I know things could change in a flash. You do what works for you to make your life better. I wish you well. Wcid x

Hi Anthony, welcome to recovery 🙂

There's no such thing as too little too late with this vile addiction (I wish I'd come here @ 26), what's important now is how you move forwards!

Early advice would be to call GamCare...That amount of debt may need professional help & they will be able to point you in the right direction.

The rest of the advice is pretty standard for all types of gambling...We cannot win because we cannot stop. You need to get your gambling (Time-Money-Location, remove one & you cannot gamble) triangle broken. Self exclusion is a good barrier & blocking software (K9 is free) if your poison is online! Telling loved ones & handing over finances are also recommended. Nothing will physically stop you completely but barriers will buy you time when the urges come!

Whether you started gambling to escape or not, the state you are in now must be very challenging & GamCare offer counselling that you may find useful. Equally, maybe look @ getting to a GA meeting.

Time to get back on the right track - ODAAT

anthonyb wrote:

Hi guys. I have just come across this place and thought it would be a good place to start.

I'm 26 years of age and have been gambling on and off for a good 10 years. Anyway in the pays year or so it has got really bad, and I have only stopped because I literally have nothing left. Multiple credit cards all maxed out, a loan, im in my overdraft, the list goes on.... I managed to get some money from family to sort my finances out but just gambled it all away. I'm struggling to pay all of this debt off now and I am in a really dark place right now.

I know this is a little too late, but I am determined to beat this sickness and get my life back on track.

Any advice would be great.

Thanks, Anthony.

Your 26 its not to late to turn it all around.

It will be tuff but if you dont it will only get worse,

then you will end up like me no family no home no job and a criminal record.

Hi Anthony, welcome to the Forum, a very positive step my friend,

You have run up a great deal of debt, which is understandably very difficult to cope with, but you have to ask yourself how you would feel in the same situation at 36, 46, or 56? You are entitled to a youth, you are entitled to make mistakes, just like the rest of us, but do you really want that to manifest itself into something that affects your entire life? I spoke to someone on here some time ago who was 67, had a PHD and was a published author; he had spent a lifetime getting in and out of debt – it affected his work, it cost him two marriages, access to his children, two homes, and he was living out his days in something like an Adult YMCA. He came on here, asking for advice as you did – it is always the right thing to do, no matter what your circumstances but, as you get older, regret gets much harder to cope with, your options lessen, and so does the support of those around you.

I don’t want to sound like I am being condescending my friend, quite the opposite – we are all equal here, but you have time on your side my friend. What I would do is total up all the amount of money you owe – that figure has put you in this dark place, the regret haunts you at present but it doesn’t have to be bad thing, if you stop gambling, now, for good; that amount will be an absolute bargain compared to what you could lose throughout the course of your life. Make that amount mean something my friend, make that amount your catalyst for never gambling again; if not, it will be just another sad story in a long, drawn out addiction – don’t let that happen my friend, you are better than that, you seem like a decent, intelligent person – try and get some focus back, make a plan of how you want to tackle the debt, make a plan of what you want to do with your life and all of the things you want to see and experience without gambling. Be strong, be positive, and use what you have lost to push you forward.

JamesP