Hi fellow forum people.
I have been a gambler for over 30 years now and lost more money than i care to remember and lost a marriage through gambling and the insecurity and lies that comes with it.i used to gamble on horses or football years ago and that is now under control and if i lose or win the desire to chase the losses is not there.i dont even have an urge to go in to a betting shop to have a bet or play the machines.
its the online casinos that are my downfall and chasing the losses when you start at small stakes and continue when you lose until you either get them back or empty the account,
These times seem to come when i have an underlying problem that i cant seem to deel with and i retreat to the place i know as a safe place and thats the online casinos and every month or 2 i seem to want to lose money to hurt myself and get myself back to the place i know and thats the worry of losing the money and having that horrible feeling of losing a few thousand to the casino and having to restructure my finances.
money is not a problem as i have enough not to worry about paying bills and living a life and can pay the loans back comfortably and will be sorted in 10 months time.
its how to cope when these self destruct feelings come and coping with them with a strategy that works for me.ive tried the diary and other things which havent worked for me.ive joined to try and learn new ways to cope and for support and to support others.i can often go for a few months without these urges but when they come i know theyre coming and dont seem able to just keep away and it will start with just playing for a small stake and slowly increase as im unable to let go.
looking forward to a far happier life and to try and not have these urges when a bit of stress and worry comes in to my life
Welcome Jim
Alot if members like myself will relate to gambaling when worried /stressed.
Although it's hard to predict when these will manifest
When they do try counter acting them with something you enjoy
I bought myself a few stress relief item's such a squidgy balls and a rubiks cube although I think the latter just winds me up more lol
Basically something that will take your mind away from its current situation.
Look out for an app called head space I rate it highly when I'm stressed.
Anyway good to have you aboard all the best for now
Deano
Hi jimbob, welcome to the forum 🙂
That's textbook addiction my friend (including where you traded the bookies for the secrecy & solitude of online gambling) & it's great that you have identified the thought process. I love this place, it's a safe haven for me & has allowed me to stop gambling but it doesn't necessarily help us dig deep & get to the bottom of our 'troubles'. I would say that counselling (GamCare can provide that free of charge) or working the 12 steps through GA is your best bet for finding better coping mechanism & thus sustained recovery. I did roughly 30 years of damage myself & you know yourself that the current 10 months until you are financially clear will get longer unless you nip it in the bud. There is plenty of advice all round the site but this is a mind problem not a money problem & we're not the best people to be trying to 're-wire' ourselves. Don't be afraid to reach out & don't let your addict's brain (the one that tells you you deserve to feel like poo & nothing else can help apart from addiction) tell you you aren't worth it, you are.
Recovery is possible - ODAAT
thanks for your kind comments and encouragement deano and odaat.i will look in to the head space app and see if it works for me.the cat will be happy to and able to come out when im stressed.i agree in this place being a safe haven and we can say and share things on here we would find hard saying to our friends.what will work for me is setting achievable goals to look forward to and to feel the achievement of reaching those goals.i can be impatient in wanting to see the results sooner rather than later but understand this isnt possible and will onlly result in re visiting the dark places and find comfort in the slots.thank you all for your encouragement and one day gone gambling free and many more to come.
9 days gamble free.hurrah for me
Hi Jim
When I read your post it almost sounded as if you were writing about me. It's been just 3 days for me this time but I feel more determined about this than I can remember.
All the best
Congratulations on your first 9 days, jimbob! Keep going!
Kind wishes
Gabriele
14 days and gamble free.having a difficult day and tempted to have a flutter on the slots but resisting and going to go to the pub and keep those urges at bay
21 days and gamble free.a few wobbles and finding new ways to help stop those urges when feeling low and want to retreat into the depths of those dastardly lot machines.reading the forums is a fantastic way to gain inspiration and help.
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