Hi, My name is Chris, I am 33 years of age. I have a gambling addiction which I have had for the best part of 17 years. I am joining this group as a commitment to myself that I now have the willingness to focus on changing my life without the need to Gamble, I am going to write out my thoughts as I think this willl help me to put some perspective on things and clear my head out. I remember the first time I gambled, Slough of all places, A chap at my dads work, Lee I believe his name was took me to the pub for lunch, there was a fruit machine, jackpot was £15.... he played, i watched, he won, I watched, we left, i kept thinking about it. 3 years I worked in that place, 3 years I gambled. intervention happened when my parents discovered a bank statement showing a £5000 loan @ 18 years of age, they were worried it was drugs.... i stopped after that, but every so often as it does the urge returned. I was married and divorced within the space of 3 years, in the region of £15k down the drain... then i discovered online gambling, to my disgust I truly believe that i have squandered in the region of £25000 over the years, today I lost £750... Last week I won £4500, after a £1000 deposit i have £2500 left... I am still up however I feel empty, dissapointed, agitated and angry. I am happily married, have a 3 month old daughter, ambitious and earn decent money, drive the car of my dreams, own my own house, have 3 wonderful cats a loving family..... why do I feel the need to gamble. And thats why I am here, I personally feel that building up relationships whether they be face to face or digitially linked have a powerful and meaningful purpose, my purpose, to rid myself of this evil by trying something new, trying something that will allow me to see my progress, realate to others and hopefully allow me to see that the destruction caused by this fiendish addiction can be overcome. I just need a little help & would apprecitate any advice, guidance, feedback or straight talking to help me to overcome this. December 10th 2017 will be the last day I gamble, the reason for this is I am making a commitment to you all. Chris
Hi there welcome to the forum. Today is day 1 for me again and I'm determined this is the time I stop. I've always been good and withdrawn anything I've won. I just spent 600 quid, won 1200 and blew the lot. I'm furious at myself when I think of what thst money could have done for me and my kids. But it's gone and that's that. It was never mine to win. So now I focus on building my savings back up whilst building myself back up. its great to get things off your chest on here.
Hello Chris
Welcome to the fourm
You are turning over a new leaf by making a committment to everyone. It's nice to hear that you are ready to change your life and would like some support.
You start out by saying you have a need to write things down to help you clear your head and focus on things. Have you looked at the diary section of this forum? using a diary might help contribute to finding another perspective on how to live gamble free. You could try different alternatives to see what works best for you either online or hard copy diary.
You mention that in the beginning you 'kept thinking about it' this is also something worth keeping an eye on. If you find you are spending a lot of time thinking about gambling you could use a distraction like a hobby to help you refocus on other things. Socially keeping busy is a very helpful way of distracting yourself from these urges.
Your life sounds wonderful so trying to figure things out could be used as an incentive to keep the life you currently have.
Gamcare advisers are waiting online daily from 8am to midnight on freephone 0808 8020 133. The calls are confidential so if you feel the need to clear your head and look for alternatives you can call the number above.
Take care
Cade
Forum admin
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