And we try again...

Welcome back hun. ..
I'm not a young girl...in fact I'm a middle aged mum and nana..but like you i became addicted to online slots ..so we got that in common lol ...
Did you ever admit your addiction to family or friends ?
I did...best thing I done love...
Has made my gamble free journey a lot easier the last year..
Get some blocks in place and try again love...you enjoyed those months gamble free....so you know life's better without it..good luck...keep posting

I started at age 18 on slots at my local bingo hall and have progressed to online slots. I need to stop coz even when I win I spend it all again. Its like a nervous reaction and I am fed up living like that

Hi, I'm not young either, mum of 2 and coming up 40 soon. It's almost 2 years since I first signed up to an online site and I'm determined to not to reach that 'anniversary' still gambling. I'm on my last chance now. Having to hold breath whilst I pay rent late again this month. It's a terrible spiralling addiction and sadly us ladies, young and old, have fallen into a very well made trap. You would do well to confide in someone. Perhaps your mum? It would explain the money situation to her and perhaps she could help monitor your finances for a while. You are very young so put in good blocks and this will just become a blip in the whole scheme of things. I am waiting on a new debit card and my mum will remove the security numbers from the back so I can't register it on one of the few obscure and greedier sites that I'm still to come across. I managed 6 weeks GF and I really did start to feel like myself again. I stopped the wine as I didn't have to block out all those awful feelings that accompany a big loss. I'm sick of paying bills late, applying for payday and log book loans and feeling like a total fraud. Keep posting and block all the access you can. If you can tell your mum, do, this addiction thrives on secrecy. Good luck in getting back to the real you x

Hi ladies.

Sorry for asking for young girls to reach out I appreciate everyone's help and whatever the age you all come with the same in common and good insight so thank you for posting. The one thing I haven't done is come clean. I know it is absolutely needed and I wish I had the guts but I'm absolutely petrified. My mother is literally the best but she found out about a lot of debt I was in about a year ago and her disappointment in me was crushing. I just don't want her to look at me that way again. Plus I don't like the idea of people treating me with kid gloves my brother dad boyfriend all do sporting bets recreationally and I couldn't care less as I only ever use casinos online slots. But just know they would all be like oh god we have to hide all this from her she's a gambler.

I know that it's my best bet for no relapses but I'm going to try one last time at this alone and if I honestly can't do it I'll write her a letter coming clean. I've self excluded literally every site I know of and then some. Thinking of ordering a new card and scratching the numbers off asap before they register in my head any other suggestions?

Thanks so much and good luck to everyone on their journey also.

Much love x

I would say have a friend scratch the numbers off the card maybe? If they stick in your head there is a risk. But in all honestly I would confide in your mum. I'm a mum too and I would loathe my daughter to go through this. I had a few slips even after coming clean but it makes it so much harder. Also it's so much better psychologically if you can talk about all if it and how it's affected you. Mums can handle a lot, it's built in at birth! Keep posting and find some distraction. Also find a way of protecting your money. I'm most at risk the few days inbetween being paid and rent or direct debits coming out. I'm sick of loosing £50 and thinking of postpone phone d/d, lose £100, postpone gas d/d, and then lose £600 and that's the rent gone for the month. Then it's payday loans and family loans. It's no way to live. No don't want this either. Speak to someone and get the problem out there.

Hi,

I went a week GF there till today where I have relapsed.

I am really hoping I can start again a fresh and make it last as its the most upbeat I have felt in ages during that week.

I am 25 and struggling big time with gambling and its a difficult age to be struggling financially.

Maybe we can help one another?

Take care

X

It's your decision to tell or not love..we are not here to judge..
But...for what it's worth...very few are succesfull in fighting this alone...but..your choice hun. .
In the meantime get those blocks high...I blocked all gambling sites via my internet provider...works a treat. ..nothing gets through..so...if your using home internet...maybe think about it..
And actually if gambling sites are blocked....you simply can't play whilst at home...keep fighting...keep posting here x

Hi hero. Well done on one week gamble free it's literally better than not trying at all. I know it doesn't feel that way when you relapse but if I've learnt anything it's that beating yourself up won't get us anywhere. It might not work for you but I got so low in my darkest hours I turned to anything that would give me hope and I really got into reading about bhuddism and that. It sounds extreme but it's really not religious at all just really eye opening things like positive affirmations and different ways of thinking about situations. We get so caught up in this materialistic word and money and buzzes and think we can only get it from gambling but using Pinterest to search mindfulness and all these sorts of things gave me endless lists of ways to occupy myself and to perk myself up when I was having dark thoughts. I'm a compulsive gambler and I recently lost 3k most of my bills are with debt collectors but I do a tick list when I wake up now, am I relatively healthy? Yes. Do I know I have people around who care about me? Yes (even if you don't have any family or friends you'll have us or care right here). At the end of the day I try to focus on positives rather than the fact I've lost 3k and it's true what they say law of attraction works wonders. Fight all odds. Put on a smile in the toughest of hours find that one little thing in your day that's positive or made you smile and use that to get you through. Sorry for the long winded mother Theresa like speach ha ha ha but I honestly don't think I'd be here if I hadn't forced myself to change my way of thinking.to deal with this addiction. Much love x

Hi Loxxie

Totally agree that I'm probably going to need to tell someone to get through this. To be honest apart from being s*** scared to ha I honestly don't want my mum to have to feel so burdened. Opening up will mean admitting all my debt and she is such a headstrong lady who's done well she's sensible with bills and money and the banks would loan her 100k without batting an eyelid that she would send my way but why should I have that when this was my doing. She shouldn't suffer and I read a parents post on here today and the man described feeling so much guilt that they had parented wrongly and they worried they were the cause. I can't have her feel that way. If I can do this alone I really preferably would like to. I know she would be hurt but then help me if I told her I just don't want to go down that route of her looking at me differently quite yet.

Thanks for the advise I'm looking to get my one and only debit card blocked on gambling type sites or get a new one with a friend to scratch the numbers off. I'll say I'm done with buying clothes and make up online and trying to budget

Much love x

Hey stranger, I'm older & wiser than I was when I came here but more straight talking now...How long do you think you can go on kidding yourself that your way works? We can always find excuses to justify our actions & the same to justify the inaction but we know the difference between right & wrong! If you can't come clean to family @ the moment, why lie to your friend?

The spiritual stuff you are talking about can be found in the GA recovery program, offered free of charge to anyone willing to open their mind to a bit of structure/guidance. This isn't about money but getting the blocks will buy you time when the urges strike. Get some help J before you get old & crusty like me...Don't throw away your twenties like I did!

Hello stranger indeed!

No kidding intended. Agreed this will end in relapse but there are bound to be people out there who have nobody to control their finances and check that they aren't gambling that have been able to recover im just trying this route before I bring my mums world crashing down. I really want to exhaust my options before inflicting that sort of pressure and responsibility on somebody else. In the 3 and a half years I have been gambling I can honestly say that I've tried giving up ones. That was the month and a half long break. The rest of the times were 'take a break' options for 30 days on betting websites that just expired by the time I'd got paid. So I try again. I've blocked for 5 years on my newest sites and I'm still excluded on older ones. I don't have a laptop and I'm looking into putting the blocks on my phone can anyone tell me the software or app for that? also not sure what you mean by the post about the ga recovery thing. Is that something I can do? Can you point me in the right direction for this. What about counselling will they do phone calls etc?

I also hope you're well and still going strong

Much love xx

Agreed this will probably end*

Hi there

Hope you don't mind just reading through your posts and thought I would say a word,
I'm glad you have admitted you are a compulsive gambler as this is the first step to recovery for you, I would whole heartedly say if you don't open up to others around you or someone it will be a slippery slope eventually,
For myself I needed to attend Gamblers anonymous meetings to get my gambling at bay it's something I would advise to anybody struggling the unity of the rooms is something you can't get anywhere.

Anyways take this 1 day at a time and you will make progress.

I do understand you not wanting to tell your mum & even if you did, the importance of her not bailing you out but if you are going to try a route, try it properly, don't just dip your toe in!

Good skills getting the proper self exclusion in place finally 🙂 I can't help with blocking software because my damage wasn't done online but the helpline will be able to advise if you can't find the answers on this site & you can downgrade your bank account if you mean business. They will also be able to arrange counselling & I understand this can be done by phone/on the net but would have thought this better one on one if possible.

GA meetings are all over the country, you'll have to look on their website for the closest one & you absolutely can attend on your own, try different meetings because they're not all the same. The fact that you ask the question would suggest you know little about the 12 step recovery program & I couldn't do it justice so it may be worth doing a bit of research around this so that it makes sense. Do it with an open mind though because people are very critical of the program's reference to God citing that they aren't religious...It isn't God the big man upstairs (unless you want it to be), it's God of your understanding which is the spiritual approach that I think would really appeal to you.

Don't set out to fail J...You can do this without your mum (although advice remains to come clean & ask for mental not financial support) but you can't do it on willpower alone.