Back here after 8 years. Rock BOTTOM I need serious help now.

Hi and welcome back.

You have to forget the losses...the past has gone. This is not an easy thing to do by any means but if you dont let go it will eat you up. I lost my home due to my addiction. I live in one room in elderly relatives home with my daughter. I live a constant reminder of this sorid addiciton. BUT I had to get over this to move on.

We are here. Call Gamcare, take the advice they give. Fight it one day at a time.

What was your poison?

Sorry to hear about the looses. I am sat here on my break at work and all I'm thinking about is how stupid I've been and even though I talked myself into not going I still went to gamble. My poison was FOTB mainly roulette.

Day 3 GF I want to get to the end of this month.

Thank you for the encouragement Ineffable.

I have asked for the counsellors in gamcare to contact me, I am also going to attend a GA meeting on Thursday. I have since handed all my cards to my girlfriend and signed a contract that states that she will make a monthly withdrawal for me and check my expenditure in the form of receipts. I hope these would help this time round because previously I have given her my cards but as previously stated she had no choice but to give them back to me as I attempted to jump from a building.

I wish i had stuck around 8 years ago. that 1220 seems so tiny compared to what I have lost over these past 8 years. Everyone is encouraging me that I am still young and I will make that money back. I don't see it happening soon but I hope I beat this horrible sickness which seems to take everything away from us.

Hi Geo,

The money is secondary issue, even though it has your focus now. The problem is the gambling addiction you suffer from, as you see yourself its destroying you. But you are not alone, as you will see on these forums there are lots of compulsiv gamblers out there battling with their addcitions.

The first step we must take is to truly admit we have a problem adn want to deal with it. As you are well aware the battle is not an easy one, but if you work hard at a 12 step program and atend regular GA meetings you can overcome this addction. We are never 'cured' of this addction but we will get the strength and knowledge to keep it at bay one day at a time. Forget about the money you have lost and focus on the money you can save and the life you can lead by staying gambling free. Its just under 6 months since I attended my first GA meeting and although I am still paying off the debts my life has changed so much for the better.

Hey Joe-90

Thanks for the encouragement. Yeah for so long I have denied that I have a problem even though I was gambling away thousands each month. The reality hit when I lost my last 30k of savings last Saturday and I tried to jump of a building because my girlfriend would not give me my card to gamble.

I have since signed up for counselling and also will be attending GA meetings from Thursday. I have handed back my card to my girlfriend. She made me sign a note declaring that no matter what she will not hand me the card until I am a bit more better. I am still thinking of my looses however I want to beat this addiction which has gripped me by the throat. Today is my 4th day GF hopefully I can see through another day. One day at a time.

Hope your ok today Geo, you really do just have to take one day at a time. Always remember gambling is a powerful thing. But you have done it before and you will do it again..fill your spare time with enjoyment,things that make you feel alive.. Good luck my friend

Thank you Soggycash,

I plan to take it one day at a time. The mind is playing games with me, just imagining how long it will be before i even make half of that savings back but I want to kick this habit for good. I think it would've spelled disaster for me and my girlfriend if we had used that money to marry. She assures me that it's even better I lost that 30k now rather than if we had marry and I still lived with this habit which would've impacted more heavily on me and her.

TBH i don't see how much more worse it could've gotten but I suppose she is right in a way. for now i will try and think positive. 4days GF.

All the best to you too Soggycash.

Hi Geo thx for the support/advice lets both try to remain positive and do this for our own sanity and get them demons away once and for all

Geo, money is nothing when you compare it to happiness. Don't worry what you have lost. staying away from gambling will bring peace of mind which is what money can't buy.. You have a great person by your side just keep going and enjoy life . you are now free of gambling .

Thanks Soggycash.

I am trying not to focus on the money. It’s hard. But I think time will do the job. For now fighting the urges everyday and trying to get back to normal life is what’s important.

Keep fighting too. 5days GF.

Thank you Ineffable.

Looking forward to how it will help me on this road to recovery. Everyday the money flashes before my eyes but with time it will fade.

enjoy the day.

Sat on my break, thinking a bit more positive now. I have been to a GA meeting yesterday. Surprised at how everyone’s story is similar to mine and this illness is ridiculous. Everyone was friendly and welcoming and encouraging. I hope to continue his journey and will be attending GA regular meetings. I will keep updating my progress on here. Day 6 GF. One day at a time.

Well done going the meeting geo, keep it going.

I will mate thank you. 9 days GF nearly double digits.