Hello all!
So today I signed up to GamStop and although I felt proud of myself for doing it, I instantly had a feeling of dread that I could no longer chase all those losses.Â
Since the beginning of lockdown, I started playing online slots, I guess as a way to fill the void of how different life had become. My partner and I then moved in with his mum and it’s been hellish. I started using these sites more and more in a vain attempt to bring some joy in the form of winning money. I found it as a way of escaping - I’d lose myself for hours in mindlessly playing slots.Â
With Christmas fast approaching I was determined to win money to help pay for Christmas. I feel so dumb now, because I’ve lost a lot… all that money I could have used on gifts, food etc. I really dislike myself so much for doing it and I’ve never felt so low.Â
I confided in my partner who was really understanding but I feel like I’ve let my son down. I’m so angry at myself for being so selfish.
I suffer from anxiety, depression and I have ADHD so it all just feels so overwhelming. I don’t know how I stop mourning my losses.Â
Hello LiLou87,
Well done for joining the forum and sharing your story.
It is good you registered with GamStop. You might know that we can offer you a free promotion of GamBan blocking software if you call us on our freephone or Live Chat https://www.gamcare.org.uk/talk/
Well done for confiding in your partner too.
Please give us a call on freephone 0808 8020 133 or the Live Chat so we can support you further.
Take care,
Adam.
Hey LiLou......and you should be proud. You have done the right thing. I registered myself yesterday.Â
Totally get what you are saying though when you say the feeling of dread. Makes me feel quite anxious.
As hard as it is, try not to give yourself a hard time about it. Sounds like your partner is really supportive.......keep talking to them. And of course there is the helpline on here. They have really helped me this week. Just being able to talk to someone who understands.
I haven't gambled for nearly 7 years and to be fair I have managed it really well. Struggling a bit at the moment, but I know why and have sought help.
It's early days for you, but give yourself a big pat on the back for reaching out and taking the important first steps.Â
Stay strong.
Â
Hi Lilou,
As Warrior has said you should be proud of what you have already done and now you just to need to give it some time.
I suppose a bad analogy for your situation would be retiring from some sort of sport that you are now too injured to play. The injury (in your case the exclusion through gamban) will now prevent you from playing anymore. Now when Saturday or whenever rolls around where you used to "play" you are no longer able to do so. It will irritate you and infuriate you but there's nothing you can do about it. You just need to get through these first few occasions and it will get easier over time.
I hope it all goes well, Happy.
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