big relaps

It's hard, so very hard and crazy making but we can do this. You can do this. I can do this. We all can, and some people on here have come back from years of self destructive cg. What you are discribing is the o*g of compulsive gambling. Yep, years on end 10 years ... I am a bit over that many years myself. I too have thought about a loan. I never have taken out a loan before but I may have to at some point because my savings is so low and many things need attended to like my car and health etc. These emotions and anger , that actting out and just smashing things; it's so hard that we have to express ourselves and let those feelings out. Good that you are here and remember that we can do this.As soon as things settle down a bit try to take care of yourself/ treat yourself with care. Be serious but treat yourself with care. tara2

Hi Alexs,

Sorry that this is going to sound harsh but, having spent a significant amount of time replying to one of your previous threads, it's frustrating to hear that you still clearly don't have sufficiant blocks in place.

I appreciate that there are a lot of bookies about and it would be tricky to self-exclude from all of them BUT when every town and city has numerous pubs and bars, there is NO reason to venture into a bookies because you need the toilet other than the fact you wanted to gamble. When abstaining you will experience these urges regularly (although, in my experience they do get less frequent in time) so you NEED to have measures in place to prevent you gambling (or at least buy you thinking time) when they occur. The fact that you could go in the bookies and that you had access to that sort of money shows a disregard for the advice myself (and plenty of others) give repeatedly.

Like the bookies, there are hundreds of online casinos about so it is impossible to self exclude from them all. HOWEVER, there are a good number of blocking applications out there that would have prevented this (again, even if there is a way round these blocks, they buy you valuable thinking time). If a big loss at one site didn't give you a kick up the behind to prevent this from happening again (the following morning) then nothing will.

If you really want to stop gambling (rather than just stop losing) then you NEED to do more to prevent youself from doing so when the urges come knocking. There are a very small percentage of people who can quit addictions on willpower alone but the VAST majority of us have to accept that we can't control ourselves and find other preventitive measures to help ourselves. Your numerous 'replapse' threads show that you, like most of us, cannot do this on willpower alone.

Download blocking software, self-exclude from every bookies that you can realistically see yourself passing or being near, restrict access to cash and get someone to look after your finances or at least monitor them. Start, use and maintain a diary here and keep posting every day. Get some free counselling and goto GA meetings. Not everything works for every person but you have to do SOMETHING if you are serious about stopping.

I really do wish you all the best as I know how low this addiction can take us. I'm sorry to have come across harsh but I could have used this exact advice the first time I relapsed and it would have saved me lots of stress, heartache and, of course money (the least of the losses gambling can cause).

All the best

Phil

Alexs,

Sorry to hear about your relapse. But, s**t happens. I think you need to get real and self exclude yourself from every site. Smashing stuff up will only make you feel more worse. Find a new hobby or confide in a trusted person. Please do not blame your girlfriend for your/our flaws. Instead ask for her help (if she can) to support you in this recovery. Money is very important in life and it hurts really bad when we lose it in such a rash manner.

I will suggest getting rid of credit cards if you can. I am thinking to cut mine into pieces once i pay it off this month and go back on living on my debit. I did not gamble until i got my credit card. I thought I could risk my savings a bit as credit card is there to help me out. I lost all my savings and still have credit card dues

I think speak to admin here or in local meetings to have plan for debts and stick to them.

G

Hello Alex, I have just caught up on your story. I am sorry you have relapsed. I am currently at 54 days gamble free.

I do agree with the post above, you need to be ready to stop. You didn’t have to go in the shop for the toilet, use a pubs facilities.

Have you spoken to anyone? The best thing I did was talk to my partner. It took a few screams for help before he knew I was serious and could do it anymore. I wrote it all out on here and shared it with him, it helped him understand. I handed everything over and all I have access to is £20 a week. Which I know needs to pay for my yoga and a take away on a Saturday. I do carry my credit card with me for emergencies but as mentioned on one of your previous posts it has a 0 cash limit I can only use it for purchases. Which helps if I need to pick up some shopping or get petrol.

My partner had also blocked safari and apps on my phone, I can only access them when he is with me. This saved the embarrassment of getting a non smart phone. But also helped as I have knuckled down into my on line business, this has kept me busy. Wanting to earn money than than spent it.

I am feeling the benefits of stopping with going out for more meals, buying things for the flat and reaching the goals of paying accounts and people off. My other achievements include booking a holiday and ordering a new car. I’m buzzing and you can be too!

Serum think about locking sites, handing over money and even self excluding. Keep yourself busy in other ways, you’ll feel so much better for it!

Good luck xx