Casino addiction through matched betting

Woke up this morning wishing I hadn't Gamstopped.

I think the realisation set in that the matched betting / low risk casino offers that I had been doing over the last few years is over. 

Was trying to reason with myself that If I regained control I could do the offers again without it leading to outright gambling.  Well yes I had regained control in the past for a while.. but it slips and the slips were getting worse over time.

I was wagering so much that my value of money was being distorted and I could see that my brain was being re-wired.

I just need to keep telling myself that it would have got much worse if I had carried on and I was setting myself up to have major issues for the future.  My recent gambling spree was after I had a stressful day and I will continue to have stressful days.

My fear is that at some point I will experience a bereavement of someone close to me and that could set me off if my mind is still consumed with thoughts of gambling. 

Hello Corrin,

Welcome to the forum, and thank you for sharing your story.

It sounds like you were concerned about the way gambling was affecting you, and you have decided to protect yourself from harm.

Well done for registering with GamStop and installing GamBan.

It sounds like you have good plans to reschedule your time with other activities, and you are considering stress management.

If you are based in Britain you can call us at any time on our freephone 0808 8020 133 or WhatsApp, if you would like to chat about your recovery.

Take care,

Adam.

Thank you Adam.

A week on & I am missing those dopamine hits for sure.

I am trying to get back into my old hobbies but they don't seem to be that exciting in comparison

I just need to give it time and distract myself as much as possible in the early days.  Hopefully things will equal out in the near future. 

I am kind of turning this into a diary for those early days.

Dusted off my Xbox last last night and resubbed to game pass.

Played the Oblivion remaster for a bit & hope to continue this eve.

I am generally not going to bed as late and it is starting to translate into waking up earlier / not being so tired in the morning which is a positive. 

Some nights I would gamble until the early hours, after waiting for the casino offers to reset after midnight. 

My brain must be missing it as I had a gambling dream last night.

Where I played some slots and won a couple of thousand. 

I then woke up disappointed that it wasn't reality and that I couldn't gamble.

Hi Corrin,

Well done for noticing the postives around getting more sleep, and getting back into your old hobbies. Like you suggested, the dreams might be part of the process of moving on from something that had been familiar.

You mentioned the idea of a diary, if you like you could create a topic in the Recovery Diaries section, and keep a journal there:

https://community.gamcare.org.uk/forum/recovery-diaries/

Take care,

Adam.

5 weeks on and no gambling. 

Been having some urges the last few days where I wish I hadn't Gamstopped or put in a 6 month ban instead of a 5 year!

My mind is thinking that that I have closed off a side hustle of making money but the logical / rational part of me keeps bringing it back to the reasons why I put the ban in on the first place.  Also reading other posts on here helps. 

I did enjoy it when things were going well & continue to miss the dopamine hits.

My concentration at work is improving & I feel that I am putting more effort in. 

My old hobbies are still not really holding my interest & I find TikTok taking up a lot of my time in the evenings doom scrolling.

I have no desire to create offshore accounts which is good. 

Hopefully I will get back to the enjoyment of my old hobbies in time.