Today I realised I am addicted to online gambling after spending almost 20 hours playing slots on my mobile.
I call this gaming frenzy, I literally go into sheer frenzy and it's is not the 1st time I have gone into one but this time it was different because I actually spent every single penny in my bank account £1350 my wages for the month.
I am in desperate need of a reality check I need help ,why I am gambling like this will I ever be able to live normally?
I feel like I am two people the one my framily, friends & work people know & love happy outgoing friendly got it together person and then there is the absolutely wreck of a girl who uses her mobile to gamble for hours on end like a total head case, thinking I am going to win it back time after time and after 5 years of gambling has well and truly hit a brick wall and I NEVER EVER won any reasonable amount back I have spent thousands of pounds to well and truly muck my life up!!! I could never dream about telling my family what I have been doing I would disappoint my parents so much they would not get it or understand it, by far that I would not want to put the worry or stress on them. I am a 39 year old single mum off 2 teenagers I am wonder women to them on the outside but the minute they leave the house, I am inside gambling there food money away, what is wrong with me?? Don't get me wrong my kids do not go without, but if I continue to do what I did last night and spend my money I work 184 hours Per month and lose it all in the space of 20hours then this will become a problem for them and me. So this is why I am here, I need HELP I feel like the loneliest person in the world right now, about 1 year ago I told a friend about my gambling and he helped me get back on my feet and I promised then I would not gamble ever again and I did keep my promise for 6mnths but this past 6mnths I have just gone right back to these sites to play bingo & slots I was stupid thinking I had it under control, I am worse then before, sorry I am going on, please if anyone has any advise for me please share because I have banned myself from gaumbling sights but give it a day and I have at least 5 new emails from different gambling sites asking me to join with amazing bonuses ect I am literally like a kid in a sweet shop I can't say no!! I can't go and tell my friend again what I am doing to be honest he wasn't that much of a support gave me money and we never discussed it again & he continues to gamble on his phone in my company so for me he either didn't understand how severe my problem was and still is or he wasn't really interested in helping me either way I don't want to bare my soul like that again to a loved one, maybe talking with people including the same situation as myself will be more helpful for me to end this madness and get my life on track, i have debts I can't even bare to face and deal with, firstly I need to deal with the fact I am a compulsive gambler and get help. Sorry for the long story, I was unsure how to go about writing this or what I would say but, it actually feels good to get it out there and I have stopped crying for the 1st time today so a positive already. X
Welcome to the forum Looby99
You are in exactly the right place and you are now beginning to face this
There is no shame in admitting to a gambling addiction and you will need to reach out and tell people close. Its an addiction which people need to understand. It does nort make you a bad person and equally its not just you being silly or stupid.
Its an addiction which works in powerful ways that we only start to understand during recovery
Take the fight on and you need to focus on blocking all those emails. Get indignant with them as they are offering you a dangerous temptation which cleans you out and lines their pockets. Its very similar to a class A or alcohol addiction...It harms you greatly but you have been drawn to the short term fix
We have all been there so you are not alone. I cant now believe I did it and I realise how addicted and ill I must have been
You need cast iron blocks and you do need to tell people close if you can. They can help monitor you and support you emotionally.
Strong measures are needed like living on an allowance and providing receipts. You must keep busy and there must be no dull tuesday afternoons left alone with your gadgets. Your phone MUST be properly blocked or handed over.
Then the next thing is learning and focusing on the reality of gambling and slot gambling in particular. Its a losers game programmed for maximum addiction and the near miss feeling or the tiny wins making you think the big prizes are possible. They are not as you have found. You may have been ignoring the odds to escape from stress or depression. Make no mistake though that we all ignored the odds which are thousands or even a million to one. Once in a blue moon is not an income scheme yet compulsive gamblers chase and chase.
You need the born again moment and you dont need to be around other gamblers...You have to tell them that its not for you any more and no gambling near you please
You will learn a great deal here so start that learning process.
Please phone gamcare as many times as you like because you will need the one to one voice in the early stages
Being gamble free is a wonderful feeling of self respect and dignity
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
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