Okay so today is the day that I f'd up big time! Tonight I spent all of the money I had left chasing my losses and I can't believe what I've done and how I've been so stupid! After this I even sat here and thought, hey I'll have some money that is owed to me in my account on Tuesday, I can spend 'some' of that and I'll win it all back. I realised that I wouldn't be able to stop at 'some' if I lost it. I have this huge compulsion to deposit because I 'could' win it back. I ended it up self excluding with all of the sites I'm registered to. I've been gambling online for years. I started off on bingo sites playing just bingo at £10 a week for fun. Then I discovered slots when I got a deposit bonus and played £2 spins coz why not? I ended up winning! I was hooked from there but I did have some self control. I went through a period of bad depression and I used gambling as a way to escape and I've been doing it ever since. I'm a single Mum, moved away from all of my friends and family due to a bad relationship and drifted from friends and due to the depression I isolated myself and this is the state of affairs now.
Anyway just wondering if anyone else has a similar story. I also like to do scratch cards and lottery online now and again and am a bit worried I'll jump onto these to fill the gap. Would be great to be able to talk to keep myself in check. 🙂
Welcome Wtcml2020.
Thank you for joining the forum and posting your introduction here. I'm sure lots of forum users will be able to identify with your experiences. It's not uncommon for gambling to become problematic after a win. And sadly gambling and isolation do often go together. It's a vicious circle - it's tempting to turn to gambling because you're isolated and the gambling only isolates you further.Â
We're here to help you break that vicious circle. It's great that you've joined the forum. It's a good step that you've self-excluded from all the sites you were a member of. You might want to consider taking that a step further by signing up for Gamstop which would bar you from being a member of any site that's registered with the UK Gambling Commission. You also said you're worried that you might turn to scratchcards and lottery instead. You can self exclude from the instant wins section of the National Lottery website (it's not covered by Gamstop at the moment). There is also software you can install which would block you from opening all gambling sites including the national lottery. Find out more at our website:
https://www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/blocking-software/
We have lots more tips for getting your gambling under control, and we can offer free treatment too. Why not give us a call if you haven't already? We're here 24/7 on 0808 8020 133 or by livechat.Â
Best wishes
Deirdre
Forum Admin
WTCM,
Welcome to the forum.
I can relate to your story and sympathise with your current situation.
You're taking the first step by coming here. I would advise you to read as many diaries as possible and truly learn about addiction. You can overcome this and go on to have a tremendous, happy life.
As mentioned above, be very careful with leaving the door open to any form of gambling because it usually leads you back to full blown addiction. I used to reason with myself that I could control football betting but no roulette. The truth is if I lost a bet to a late goal etc I would be straight onto roulette to try to win my money back.
Giving up all gambling may be scary but do it with blind faith that things are exponentially better without it and you’ll see for yourself very quickly.
I wish you well.
RR
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