Hi I'm Jackie I'm 35. I lost my job through illness last June. Since then we have been struggling financially as I'm not entitled to benefits. We are borrowing off in laws to help buy food each month as hubby's wages just cover bills. I started gambling on a website in June. My hubby found out in November and went ballistic as we have two small children. I felt awful but can't get rid of the temptation. I spent over 1k on our joint credit card. Since November I have got my own card in secret and so far spent ВЈ600. I'm trying to win it back but keep losing. I know this might sound silly but the temptation draws me back in. Last night I won ВЈ114 from a £10 deposit and this morning I lost it all. I feel low a burden due to illness and a failure. I suffer from mental health issues anyway and I feel myself deteriorating. I need to win the money back but cause I set a limit for the week I've spent it and can't get back in till Sunday. I'm now sat here anxious crying and hopeless. I don't know what to do. I feel I would be better off disappearing. We have had to survive in our joint credit card since I was dismissed for absence she to illness since then we have now racked up a 6k debt and we can't pay it off as only one income. I. Can't stop!!!!!
Call the helpline. This is an awful addiction but we're all in the same boat and here to support each other and we all know too well the feelings you describe. For a bit of perspective, I've lost around £3k in the last week and now can't afford to pay any debt repayments this month. Worse than that, the other day I deposited my last £50 and was thinking miserably about how I needed a miracle - and I got one. Somehow, I turned that £50 in to over £1200. But I'm an addict. Instead of withdrawing the money, which would have left me down but at least able to pay everything this month, I thought I could get back the full 3 grand. Guss what? 15 minutes and half a dozen spins of the roulette wheel later, it was all gone. I've now booked an appointment with my GP for help dealing with the anxiety problems I have that lead me to gamble, closed my account with the casino I used and talked to StepChange about getting my debts in order. There is help out there but we have to take it and we do have to accept the problem is us, not bad luck that can be turned around by more gambling. I could have got that £1200 back to £3k and I guarantee over the coming days weeks I would have lost it all again anyway. Forget winning any of the money back, focus on coming up with a plan to move forwards.
Hello Jackie,
Like most of us compulsive gamblers you are still seeing gambling as a way out, a way to earn money. Gambling took you here and it WILL take you further if you continue. I understand your worries about money but gambling will not help you with this as you've seen.
I know its not what you want to hear but to move forwards you have to accecpt what has gone. The money lost has gone. Chasing that money will only get you deeper into the financial hole you are digging. The best way out of this is to stop. You need to put blocks in place to stop you gambling and if you can it will really help you to talk to someone about this (friend/family member or phone the helplines on here). You need to close your online accounts by self excluding and i would strongly advise removing your access to any more money on that credit card.
I understand lack of funds can be very stressful but this isn't helping. Speak to the call centre on here they will be much better placed to advise you what to do and how to do it. They may be able to give some finacial advise or you can contact citizens advice.
Gambling puts your life into fast forward and not on the way up
Thanks everyone for your advice. I've spent ВЈ720 in the last 24 hrs and have £40 to show for it. It's a horrible addiction. I'm not happy about it but I'm glad others know how I feel
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