10 years ago I gambled myself into bankruptcy. My wife stuck with me, I got free, worked hard and with the exception of a minor glitch (about £2k and I sought counselling in secret but told my wife when it was over) 4 years ago have been a reformed gambler.
Then last year I was getting bit worried about money. We had some coming in but I was thinking we were short what with a new baby. I thought I could gamble a few quid that we could afford to lose and hopefully increase the kitty a bit. You know the rest of thje story. I lost it -so I chased it. 6 months later I have spent our life savings and got myself £8k in debt to boot. A few weeks ago I swore on my baby's life that I would stop at a certain point if i hadn't managed to break even. Today I reached that point and stopped. I have installed Gamblock to my computer. Now I need to tell my wife.
I can't tell her before the weekend as it would not be fair -she has a lot on her plate this weekend with her Dad who is ill. It is not like us gamblers are incapable of a few secrets is it? So I have written her a letter (actually I have been writing to her like a diary for a week now -I sort of knew this was coming). Next week I am going to ask her to book a day off with me and tell her to her face -then let her read the letter to understand what life has been like for me these last few months (if you know -you know!)
Then it is down to whether she will stay with me, and whether she can forgive me. Wish me luck folks.
Good luck my friend.
Glad you stopped at the point you said you would. Now you cannot gamble again, you swore on your baby's life.
You will succeed my friend.
Mba
I wish you all the luck in the world Peetee. It will be so hard for her to understand, especially if her dad is ill. My gut feeling is, (and please ignore when you get better advice, because I've made a real hash of my own life, so have no right to give advice), but you are making too big a deal of it. It's better to just tell her sincerely, quietly, quickly. No big song and dance of diaries, taking days of work, etc.
You are clearly a very self-aware and intelligent person. She clearly loves you. You love her. Just pull off that elastoplast quickly, don't write a book about how you're going to do it. Do you get where I'm coming from? If her dad's ill I imagine that will be her total focus right now - and SHE needs your support with that. So, it's best to say "Look, I've been clear for 4 years, I f*cked up recently, I have no excuse. I've put us back in the hole, I've made X and X moves to make sure we'll get back on track in the coming months. I'm really sorry, I'm human. Please don't hate me. How's your dad?"
And sincerely mean it.
M
Thanks for the supportive comments. Yes still gamble free even though I have access to about 6k right now if I chose to as I opened a new credit card yesterday to get 0% on some of my existing debt
. Today is the day I tell her. I did have to pick my moment a little bit as I can't just do it when she gets home from work and then go straight out to work leaving her literally holding the baby. So I get home at lunchtime and hopefully baby boy will be in bed.
I have planned it out very short and simple. Tell her I have relapsed. Tell her the scale of the issue. Tell her I have stopped and how. Tell her my plans to fix this. Tell her I love her and am so sorry and will support her whatever she decides. Beg her forgiveness. Listen to what she says. Give her my letter. Give her space. I can take the rest of the day off to look after the baby
By 1:30pm this will be done.
PS: Her Dad is not ill ill-just not so well but thanks
Hi petee
How did it go when you told you wife? I hope she will stand by you.
Good luck with getting back on track.
BowWow
Thanks for asking. Went well. Angry -hurt -upset. But forgiving and willing to help me and stay together.
5 Days gamble free.
Well done on your 5 days 🙂
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