Hi All,
I have been gambling on and off (online) for the past few years. It started with a few paypal deposits here and there for saturday football betting to getting obsessed/stressed over where the money will come from for the next bet. I used to do private work and get paid via paypal to put straight into b*****r/skybet/b****5 and never see any profit from it. This was very decietful and took money away from our family home!
My wife has caught me 3 times now....
The 1st time was a casual realisation which didnt really change anything and slowly drifted back into it over the coming months.
The 2nd time was threats of splitting up which definately worked for around 3-4 months and felt really good! This didnt last though, somehow (I cant even remember why) I slipped back in. Probably because I didnt close any accounts! Bad move!
The 3rd time, very recently, she caught me again, found my account logged in! She explained how all this money that goes into the accounts doesnt turn into anything. I have put around 1000+ into my accounts and only managed to withdraw around £200 overall! She showed me the P&L on the betting accounts, but I have never looked at that because it was also just the bug and thrill! I have again been threatened with divorce and getting thrown out of the family home. I have definately let her down and the family with all this lying and mistrust.
I have promised change and I want to one day (a long way down the line) possible gain her trust again. All my gambling accounts are now self excluded for 5 years (wierd process!), closed paypal account, and installed web controls on bt broadband to block betting sites.
Basically I am looking for inspiration from you guys to carry me forward now, and show that its possible to quit this game and begin repair my relationship.
Thanks for listening!
Damon
Hi Damon #
you sound like a good bloke just can,t controlling the gambling when in the thick of it , i have sunk further than you recently been kicked out the family home , lost money i still not sure how going catch up feel in a hole bud but you still have put the blocks in place that i need to , its control my mind like a robot , play , play play , we have enough in our lives to wonder why we ever need this buzz when all the buzz leads to is a mega hang over that can push you over , and im teethering of the edge at moment so im calling gmacare after work and start addrressing the addiction that is uncontroloable
joe
Thanks Joe,
Appreciate your comments, thanks, its an ongoing struggle for sure!
I am doing everything I can to prevent this from ever happening again! I have blocked/removed all online sources of influence too as these popping up every now and again did not help at all!
I have just installed a blocker on BT web controls too which prevents gambling sites!
Hope everything goes ok for you, one day at a time!
Cheers
Damon
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