First day

Hi Beefy,

Well done for taking the first step after 20 years that must have been hard. You asked for early tips..my first tip would be to self exclude with Gamstop but it sounds like you have already done that and got the banking block so youve done really well. 

Lots of great advice on forum reading others posts and maybereading around and joining a chatroom will help you realise how many others have also been in a similar situation and how they have managed. 

Theres lots of options some people find ccbt course which is modules run online by gamcare helpful i did it and it was insightful .others find counselling helpful..others find self help books..and others find GA meetings have changed their perspective.  Have a look around and find an option for you everyones different

the blocks are inportant but so is getting support to help you deal with it. Others say handing their finances over to a loved one helps take pressure and temptation away but of course if your family dont know i understand that an be difficult.

That sounds quite a lot but just take each day at a time theirs lots of good advice and you have done really well today to take the first step and realise you have a problem and have put blocks in

I was so consumed in what I was going to write I forgot to say my names keith.

ive been reading some posts on here and can relate to pretty much what everyone says about their gambling problems.

makes me wonder why this isn’t classed as an illness and taken more seriously, this must be causing serious problems for people and their families in all walks of life, sometimes I get the thought That I’d wish I was addicted to drugs or alcohol, after all what’s £20 for some contraband compared to £1000 in one dreadful nights online deranged gambling session. You could argue health issues with the £20 purchase but I’d say gambling is worse as it drains you of everything including your hard earned cash.

Hi Beefy,

You’ll be surprised how much your friends will have really known, they probably just didn’t know how to help and worried without interfering.

early advice for me would be to make sure you have no secrets or hidden debts as they will only drag you back into gambling trying to find the money to keep them hidden.

stay focused and as hard as it is, keep the horrible times gambling has caused fresh in your mind, don’t try forget them. 

I’ll reply again tomorrow as I’m tired and have work tomorrow morning so need to get to bed.

good luck 

Hi Beefy

Fair play for admitting the addiction that’s the first important step. I did around 2 weeks ago and since I have a huge weight has been lifted. I can relate to your post, I’m 34 and have been gambling since I was able to. Like you it’s been on and off, I wouldn’t say it consumed my entire life but certainly played a big part, for example I could go a week or so without a bet but then I’d put £50 on the football, lose then chase that back and before I know it I’ve done £1000 in the online casino. The penny finally dropped for me when I done close to £5K over the course of about 6 weeks recently, also looking at my credit card and loan debt, I know a lot of it has been caused by my gambling. I’ve always lived a good life and never gone without but my gambling has massively contributed to the debt I find myself in now and whilst I manage it, always pay on time I know I should and could have so much more. The time, money, frustrations lost to gambling is sickening and it has definitely contributed into who I am today. I feel ashamed to say that when I was betting my entire mood was consumed by it, if I was out with my girlfriend at the time all I wanted to do was check the scores, I wasn’t really interested in what she had to say, I wanted to know if Lincoln v Peterborough had both scored, looking back I can see it played a huge part in the downfall of our relationship but I couldn’t see it at the time.

The past is the past though and there’s nothing we can do about that, it’s about looking forward and your destiny is in your own hands. There is a lot more qualified people than me to give you advice but if you need to talk things through then I’ll be here for a chat. One person who is massively helping me at the moment is ‘Only Phil’ on YouTube. Please search and watch his videos, they are so helpful and everything he says you will be able to relate to. He makes you never ever want to gamble again, talks so articulately yet hits the nail on the head every time speaking from a true gambling addicts perspective, can recommended him enough.

all the best 

Hi biscuit, thanks very much for the sound advice, I got a shiver down my spine reading your story as I can relate to every word you say! I could have posted that almost word for word. I appreciate you hearing my story mate and listening and you just saying your there if I need makes me glad I took this step yesterday, opening up is the only way out of this. Mad when you can’t think of nothing but “I wonder if Wycombe wanderers have scored”.. burning the dinner to watch Jeff.

The thing is I realised what the problem was long before it got this bad, it’s been out off control since my mum died over 2 years ago, was messy before that but controlable. ( mostly).

I watched Phil last night on YouTube, never truer words said, I learned everywhere he said through my own experience, no counsellor, no forums etc, I learned in real life. And boy he’s so on the mark.

For me gambling is a game of the mind, the mind playing good cop bad cop, you know you shouldn’t be blowing cash on betting but no matter what you can’t stop yourself, when you win you want to win more, when you lose you chase, basically a constant cycle of wasting money time and all the deceit in between.

With never a satisfied conclusion.

Unless you won  a million say then hang up your betting shoes!

Hmmmmm.imagine the bets you could have with all that cash, guaranteed I’d  end up blowing that to, so what is the point? There is no end goal, your just constantly feeding the dopamine in your brain, we need to break that chain. It gets easier through time I know as I’ve abstained for a few years befor.. my mistake was not understanding the trigger points, I’d always convince myself il nip in and stick £20 in, it’s only £20!!!

3 hours later £1000 down. Horrible horrible feeling...then you can’t wait to get cash to try and win that money back. Gazumped right there!!!!

I can’t open up to family, I’ve got the ball rolling now I’m going to select a very good friend and confide in him. I’m going to keep coming on here too and talking about my journey and listening to you guys for advice and pointers.

thank you all.

Hey ?

Consider me the other side of you, I am the fiancè of a gambling addicted.

First and fore most WELL DONE YOU!!

You've honestly done the best thing ever.

I fully get that at some points it may not feel like it but you honestly have.

To give you perspective from the otherside.

We have no savings (i do)

Our wedding never got booked (had to giveaway our date, it reduced me to tears)

Its getting to the point where we can be no longer. (I adore this man)

I am personally proud of you, please keep it up and live a happy fulfilled life ❤❤❤❤ xxx

Hi cat30,

Thanks for your supportive post, really hits home when getting messages of support from people I don’t know who are caught up in this mire like me. It’s must be so hard for you to understand why your fiancé’s gambles like he does, I can assure you it won’t make him feel good and he will be hating the fact he’s hurting you! 
Ive had my first weekend gamble free in a long long time and I can already feel a relief, I p**d the £20 game of poker with mates on Friday and never even looked at a football copoun all weekend,I’ve opened up to a few friends telling them about my steps forward to combat this and told them that “I’ve got a gambling problem and I need to stop”. 
All these small steps really give me such a liberating feeling. 
im feeling strong, I understand my illness through my actions over the years and understand what I need to do to stop this, I’ve been close before but the trigger points always got me as I didn’t understand them, in fact I still don’t fully understand how my brain can be consumed by the thought of betting knowing it’s self destruction.

The mind is a powerful thing!

so day 5 and counting...I’m pretty shocked at how I feel, I’m  Not missing betting, didn’t getting any urge at all and I’ve been consumed as anyone on here over the last 20 years.

I feel opening up and getting the problem out there lifted a huge weight off my shoulders, reading others on here, and educating myself on how the brain or dopamine effect works whilst gambling is making me have a completely different outlook.

Long may this last.

My names keith I’m a gambling addict and I’m going to beat this.

stay strong and enjoy a gamble free day peeps. ❤️